remember that 2girls1cup review i wrote

basically its been popping up everywhere and it's cool that people like it and everything but in the future if you read something here and think it's funny i'd think it really swell of you to include a link pointing back to my blog if you go post it somewhere so if people like what you send them they can come back here and read more =]

anyway, the original is here.

also the version that got really popular for some reason was one that another guy made where he printed out my review and pretended like it was an assignment for some film class. he wrote out little teacher's comments and everything! to clear the record: no, this wasn't written for a class and i don't write like that at all when i actually do a "real" critique. i'm also not a film major and know very little about film critique. feel free to email me if you want to talk literature though =]

i'd also like to give credit to "1ucksh0t" for requesting that i write the critique, "hapy" for making the fake essay version, and the rest of the fellas down at http://www.crapyclawn.net/. they are a strange group. also the SA forums (fyad in particular) where i posted this a couple months ago. every joke i've made here has no doubt been made there already but with better delivery.

anyway it keeps turning up on sites like this and its fun for me to read the comments http://www.boingboing.net/2007/11/28/film-review-2-girls.html

heres some notable ones ive found:


"As someone who endured some absurdly pompous film classes taught by even more pretentious instructors, I'd like to buy this film student a beer. This beats the heck out of the time I attempted to reason with a film professor why the world needs Caddyshacks..." -HYPEFUL


"I'm calling shenanigans. I've taught film classes and I've taught feminist theory and I've never had a student capable of making up bullshit like this on a paper. Seems really really fake to me." -JCCALHOUN


"it's supposedly written by this person also -
http://gurnt.blogspot.com/2007/10/humble-critique.html
?!?" -JOHNALD CHAFFINCH (oh Johnald Chaffinch, light of my life, fire of my loins. My sin, my soul. Bless you for vindicating me.)


"It got a shit grade because it was a joke essay. Yes, yes it was.

It wasn't a serious analysis. It was a parody of serious analysis." -SQUASHY (Woo Squashy! He got the joke.)


"@ Squashy.

Really? Well, it was still good, parody or not. Thank you for reminding me that the internet is still the internet. Therefor we should watch what we over think." -CSZOSTECK


"I am a university lecturer and I would have given it a (low) grade. It demonstrates an understanding of the academic genre and is no more full of shit (heh) than any other film or lit crit essay. It is clear the writer has been paying attention in class. By turning in such a piss-taking essay, he is both demonstrating his knowledge and communicating his opinion of the class. It's stretching the assignment a bit, to be sure, but unless there was something in the assignment that said pornography was off-limits, or that the film had to be of a certain length, or had to come off of a certain list, it looks like he conformed to the spirit of the assignment, and possibly the letter." -KYLE ARMBRUSTER


"Ths s th scnd rfrnc t ths sht n bngbng wthn fw dys....qlty cntrl sms t b gvng wy t shr ttntn skng.

f wntd rmndr f wht knd f sck ppl r t thr 'd g t 4chn r sm thr shthl lk tht, thnks!" -MUPPET


"Even (actually: especially) if you take the video as a serious piece of art and the above review as a serious critique thereof, the 0% grade is wholly deserved. The teacher was not necessarily being a jerk." -NEX


"Kyle Armbruster, I liked your comment. The kid didn't deserve a 0%. What he did was definitely inappropriate, but what the teacher failed to realize was that the student showed some considerable creative promise. With proper guidance, that kid could turn into a fairly decent writer." -BSUWG (THANKS BSUWG ILL KEEP PRATICE)


"SomethingAwful has been doing occasional reviews like this for a few years now.

Here's the whole "The Horrors of Pornography" collection (link relatively SFW, but most articles are probably NSFW)." -DARSAL (yeah, i've read most of these and so somethingawful deserves credit too because it was their concept before it was mine. also, i posted the critique on the SA forums not long after i wrote it)


"The student didn't "show some considerable creative promise", he stole his review from a blog. For that, not for his choice of movie, he deserves a zero." -FLIPA


"are you kidding me." -CORVAIL


"This is the best review I've ever read! Who's the author?" -GREYDADEL


"I'm still uncertain. Is it a joke or is it for real? The video is definitely one of the worst things I've seen like EVER, but still, it could be art... I never get art. But then, I never get fecal porn too..." -INIKOPOL


"how did you come upon this spectacular piece of film review?" -EECUE


"It looks like there is a second page to this.. I would LOVE to read it." -HARMON PRODUCTIONS


"I want the second page" -HOFFTV


"Whoever turned this in is a plagiarizer. gurnt.blogspot.com/2007/10/humble-critique.html" -704RACE (i know these comments arent as fun as the other ones but i hope the people who posted these know how special i think they are)


"That teacher is a wanker. He should have offered a better critique than "Not appropriate." -SHANUSMAGNUS


"I need to applaud you for explaining the video in more details. Whether you are actually just joking or not, this is a great attempt. While most 'reaction videos' on Youtube are more or less people getting grossed out, it shows that most people think that this is "obviously" gross.

But in fact, how "obvious" is it really?

Cows eat their fecal matter all day long, and so are many many other animals on Earth. My roommate's dog pee and poop everywhere. Instinctively, fecal matter is a powerful marker of territory due to its smell, thus a sense of belonging.

As gross as it is perceived by us modern men, the toilet isn't invented until a century ago.

Who knows if being able to explain all these would be a great step for humankind." -037


""Page 2" is available at the link 704 Race gave: gurnt.blogspot.com/2007/10/humble-critique.html
The paper really is a word for word print out of that blog post." -Chef Boyardee (=])


"Notes on the back read (as best I can tell):

Wow
You seem
to have a
creative ____
but writing
about pornography
is not suitable
__ my class

www.amus3d.com/~def/backnotes.gif" -NOTNERB56 (this is one of my favorites because that image is like some crazy internet detective thing to read a fake professors fake comments on a fake assignment which was a copy paste of a fake criticism written on my shitty blog that nobody reads) (this makes me feel important)


"I don't know whether to be more upset with a teacher who cannot recognize good writing (whether satirical or not), or a student who has cut-and-paste someone else's work.

In other words, I am disgusted, but not by the assignment itself. As a professor in the field, I hope I would have either given the analysis a decent grade, or recognized that the particular student was unlikely the author." -ALEX HALAVAIS (what are all you film professors doing posting on the internet shouldnt you be grading papers or something)


"Actually the blog post is dated a week after this paper." -GSSQ


"Classic! I'd have given some credit for creativity. . .like maybe 10 or 15 %" -SPERMODA


"it's great that the art professor reviewing this doesn't recognize the symbolism of the cup/chalice" -SLOSH42


"I can't believe someone would actually do an academic paper on an Internet meme. It's simultaneously the worse and best academic paper I've ever read." -CAPTAIN OF THE GREEN AND WHITE


"How do you know it's plagarism? I think the person who turned it in IS the blogger in question." -A.H.M.


"FAKE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (first time doing that)
* "Appropriate" is obviously spelled wrong.
* What collage professor writes "huh?" on the paper?" -JAY PEREZ


aaand i'm spent. also i think i got pink eye so all you crazy kids should be careful in regards to who you do butterfly kisses with and remember there's nothing wrong with asking your partner to get tested before you engage in butterfly kissing