so what the fuck

my crew

2011-06-20T07:42:00.000-07:00

Trope d p
▲Main Team▲	Pt	▼Anti Team▼	Pt
Banbanssu	0	Clide	0
BoxeR	0	FruitDealer	0
Choya	0	GanZi	0
HwangSin	0
July	0
MarineKing	0
NaDa	0
Squirtle	0
SlayerS	0
Sub-Total:	0	Sub-Total:	0
Rank: #0		Score: 0

im a baller

2010-06-03T13:07:00.000-07:00

so i had a four hour comprehensive exam today

2010-01-23T12:32:00.000-08:00

it went something like this

billy b givin the squat smackdown to big beautiful bro

2010-01-17T12:19:00.000-08:00

today a haiku

2009-12-12T10:50:00.001-08:00

i smell like vomit
but i havent vomited
still - i'll go shower

Dudes

2009-11-25T23:35:00.000-08:00

Being exessively superfluously redudantly verbose is the name of the game. This is the best way to graduate from college.

Gurnts 210th blog post.

2009-11-22T21:51:00.000-08:00

Dear Diary,
I had some new thoughts in addition to my previous entry. I am a little disappointed that they left out the scene where she tears her nails ripping the stereo out of the car. But at the same time, it probably wouldn’t have lived up to my terrible imagination version. But, at another time, the movie may have ruined the scene for me, thus ending my pain from remembering thebook scene forever. In fact, I think the movie numbed a lot of my pain through this ruinination process.
I also spent a bit of time remembering the “is this heaven?” portion (while at work today). Well Diary, I think they did it better than the book! While that scene in the book was super important, (I don’t remember all of it, but you know when he’s like “I know this is heaven because you’re here,” and she’s like “You’re still alive, dude, its okay,” etc, etc) I really enjoyed the simple version in the movie. It was like the credited people who read the book without leaving out so much information those non-readers couldn’t understand. “Heaven...” so perfect. Just, fucking, perfect.
Whew! Sorry to get profane there Diary, but you know how worked up I get about this. I want to say that I was happy with the voting scene towards the end, but honestly the vicoden had started kicking in and I don’t remember if I liked it. I’m pretty sure Rosalie said the line perfectly about wishing someone had voted for her. But, it works out well for her in the end then, doesn’t it?
Well Diary, I’d love to keep writing tonight but its time for Fred T and I to make music. I’ll try not to let the stereo scene upset me too much during music hour.
Love you,
Kelley

ok so i failed to write a novel in a month

2009-11-19T14:14:00.000-08:00

but now i have big projects im working on. since im so busy and i barely been postin for a minute i think i can make it so other people can post here and im gonna try to do that hopefully somebody writes a thing aight peace

oh also i found this oddly touching little webcomic dont be a fag and tell me how much you already have heard of it because i dont care

http://www.picturesforsadchildren.com/index.php?comicID=1

hit next thats the first one theres like 300 im on #88 now they're guest ones thats kinda what got me thinkin that i need other people postin on my shit aight peace o also thanks to Brad H. for givin me that link

ok so im gonna try to write a novel in a month

2009-10-31T10:11:00.000-07:00

here's how i'm doing (it might be below this post im trying to get this to work right lol) also happy halloween everybody

i been kinda busy

2009-10-12T18:48:00.000-07:00

hooey

2009-08-08T10:52:00.001-07:00

i know i been just doin this once-a-month youtube post thing dont worry someday i'll actually go back to writin things but for right now i kinda like doin it this way ok

i saw harry potter

2009-07-17T08:47:00.000-07:00

it was pretty good also im moving ish cuz im getting kicked out of my apt and its a pain in the ass but i am getting considerably better at cooking in the meantime ill make an update about it someday

chat with glenn

2009-05-31T16:04:00.000-07:00

ok so i stubbed my toe really bad a little while ago
and under the nail its all black and nasty and i thought
it was like all pressured in there so i used a handkerchief
to hold a red hot needle that i stabbed through my toenail but
nothing happened and now my toe still hurts and theres a
hole in the middle of it

user Charles_ has entered room

Charles>

Cancelling everything except internet

analyst Glenn has entered room

Glenn>

Hello Charles_, Thank you for contacting Comcast Live
Chat Support. My name is Glenn. Please give me one moment to review your information.

Glenn>

Hi

Charles_>

Hi Glenn

Glenn>

I will be glad to assist you today Charles

Charles_>

That's very kind of you

Glenn>

so you want to cancel your services except internet

Glenn>

am I correct?

Charles_>

yes, you are absolutely right Glenn.

Glenn>

Okay

Glenn>

can I know what services do you want to cancel Charles?

Charles_>

Yes, give me a second

Glenn>

Okay

Glenn>

sure

Charles_>

Starter Cable, Sports Tier, HSI Bundle, and Leased Modem

Charles_>

i believe that's everything

analyst Glenn has been temporarily disconnected.  Please wait while the analyst attempts to reconnect.

analyst Glenn has entered room

Glenn>

Okay

Glenn>

HSi bundle is for internet Charles

Glenn>

are you going to cancel that one too?

Charles_>

oh no, let's keep that one

Glenn>

Okay

Charles_>

and the modem if that's required

Glenn>

CanI know why do you want to cancel the cable service?

Charles_>

absolutely!

Glenn>

Okay

Glenn>

sure

Charles_>

we got it to watch our favorite NBA team, the
Denver Nuggets--who, as you know, have
recently been eliminated from the NBA playoffs
by the dastardly Kobe Bryant and his
villainous Los Angeles Lakers.

Glenn>

so you are cancelling the service since the
Denver Nuggets lost?

Glenn>

Is that correct?

Charles_>

That is correct. We can only afford it
during the season!

Glenn>

Carmello played great though

Glenn>

*smiles

Glenn>

Okay

Charles_>

he finally stepped up yeah who are
you rooting for

Glenn>

so you are not going to
watch the Lakers trying
to win it with the Orlando Magic?

Charles_>

we'd rather orlando take it down

Charles_>

we might watch, but it wont be from here

Glenn>

Yes

Glenn>

They are my bet too

Glenn>

okay

Charles_>

i like turkoglu

Glenn>

yes

Glenn>

he is a great player

Glenn>

Pietrus as well

Glenn>

*smiles

Glenn>

By the way

Glenn>

Charles

Glenn>

I have an offer for you

Charles_>

the orlando magic make it rain
like lil wayne all day baby.
whats ur offer glenn

Glenn>

we do have promotions for the package that you have right now

Glenn>

this is to help you lower your bill

Glenn>

for starter package you are paying it for 55.95 right now

Glenn>

correct?

Charles_>

i know not.

Glenn>

and I will offer you 29.99 for 6 months for that package

Glenn>

and then for internet you are paying it for 42.95

Glenn>

and also I will be giving it to your for 19.99 for 6 months

Glenn>

meaning I will give you promotion for internet and cbale service

Glenn>

your total charge per month will now be  57.93

Glenn>

that is for you to see how Orlando will crash the lakers

Glenn>

*smiles

Charles_>

we appreciate the notion, but we really
have no need to watch television whatsoever
at this point. as much as we would like
to see the downfall of the lakers, we are
very upset over this whole ordeal. if you
could somehow make the internet cheaper,
that is preferable, but the cable tv is a
waste any way you look at it for us.

Glenn>

Okay

Glenn>

I understand that Charles

Glenn>

here is what we are going to do then

Glenn>

I will submit a request for cancellation of your cable service to our cancellation department Charles

Glenn>

and to complete the process of the cancellation, I will need to you to return the cable box that you have so that you will not be charge with that

Glenn>

Is that okay with you>

Charles_>

absolutely.

Glenn>

you can return the cable box in the service center

Glenn>

okay

Glenn>

let me give you the address where you can return the cable  box then

Glenn>

one moment

Charles_>

take your time

Glenn>

and also, i will give you the 19.99 for internet

Charles_>

thank you!

Charles_>

that helps us greatly.

Glenn>

You are welcome Charles

Glenn>

here is the address where you can return the box

Glenn>

Fort Collins
Address: 1201 University Ave
Fort Collins CO 80521
Phone Number: 888-824-4010

Glenn>

Open M-F from 8am-6pm, plus 9am-1pm on Saturday.

Glenn>

I have submited a request to our cancellation department already Charles

Glenn>

as soon as you return the box the cancellation will be completed

Charles_>

Thanks! are there any cords that came with it that we need to worry about or is it just the box?

Glenn>

Only the box Charles

Glenn>

you can keep the wires

Glenn>

*smiles

Charles_>

thanks, glenn.

Glenn>

Okay

Glenn>

you are welcome

Glenn>

Do you still have any concerns for today?

Charles_>

That's it, Glenn.

Glenn>

Okay

Glenn>

We strive to exceed your expectations and hope that you will take a moment to complete the 3 question survey that will follow our interaction, your feedback will help us to continue improving how we serve you

Glenn>

Thank you for choosing Comcast as your Cable Service Provider and have a great day! Comcast appreciates your business and values you as a customer. Our goal is to provide you with excellent service. If you need further assistance, you can chat with one of our Customer Support Specialists 24 hour a day, 7 days a week at http://www.comcastsupport.com/videochat

Glenn>

Analyst has closed chat and left the room

analyst Glenn has left room

He's too crazy-witty for my sanity. So, so, I leave him muttering.

2009-05-08T11:26:00.000-07:00

Here's the ship's navel, this doubloon here, and they are all on fire to unscrew it. But, unscrew your navel, and what's the consequence? Then again, if it stays here, that is ugly, too, for when aught's nailed to the mast it's a sign that things grow desperate. Ha, ha! old Ahab! the White Whale; he'll nail ye! This is a pine tree. My father, in old Tolland county, cut down a pine tree once, and found a silver ring grown over in it; some old darkey's wedding ring. How did it get there? And so they'll say in the resurrection, when they come to fish up this old mast, and find a doubloon lodged in it, with bedded oysters for the shaggy bark. Oh, the gold! the precious, precious gold!--the green miser 'll hoard ye soon! Hish! hish! God goes 'mong the worlds blackberrying. Cook! ho, cook! and cook us! Jenny! hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, Jenny, Jenny! and get your hoe-cake done!

i have it

2009-04-15T17:05:00.000-07:00

your zodiac here is the life of man in one round chapter; and now i'll read it off, straight out of the book. to begin, there's aries, or the ram - lecherous dog, he begets us; then, taurus, or the bull - he bumps us the first thing; then gemini, or the twins - that is, virtue and vice; we try to reach virtue, when lo! comes cancer the crab, and drags us back; and here, going from virtue, leo, a roaring lion, lies in the path - he gives a few fierce bites and surly dabs with his paw; we escape, and hail virgo, the virgin! that's our first love; we marry and think to be happy for aye, when pop comes libra, or the scales - happiness weighed and found wanting; and while we are very sad about that, lord! how we suddenly jump, as scorpio, or the scorpion, stings us in rear; we are curing the wound, when whang come the arrows all round; sagittarius, or the archer, is amusing himself. as we pluck out the shafts, stand aside! here's the battering-ram, capricornus, or the goat; full tilt, he comes rushing, and headlong we are tossed; when aquarius, or the water-bearer, pours out his whole deluge and drowns us; and, to wind up, with pisces, or the fishes, we sleep. there's a sermon now, writ in high heaven, and the sun goes through it every year, and yet comes out of it all alive and hearty.

so i decided to take up competitive ping pong

2009-03-08T13:39:00.000-07:00

aol search logs fiasco

2009-01-31T19:51:00.000-08:00

aight a couple years ago aol accidentally released a bunch of their search logs and so you could see all the shit people were typing into the aol equivalent of google and something awful put together some of the highlights and now im linking to that because its amazing

http://www.somethingawful.com/d/weekend-web/aol-search-log.php?page=1

http://www.somethingawful.com/d/weekend-web/aol-search-log-2.php?page=1

http://www.somethingawful.com/d/weekend-web/aol-search-log-3.php?page=1

enjoy these freal

me playin qwop

2009-01-30T16:51:00.000-08:00

its all there black and white

2009-01-26T14:00:00.000-08:00

yo i aint updated in aminute

2009-01-14T22:17:00.000-08:00

but im twittin now http://twitter.com/BillBUCKETZZZ so u can just read that for more current updates i will put a link on the right

anyway i basically been dirtsin it at the apt we made a grip of curry and that same night the toilet got clogged so that was pretty horrible

also i found out about this dude named wesley willis who was a schizophrenic musician who wrote songs with really obscene lyrics to offend the demons in his head so that they would go away. the best part about him though is that he's got this giant callous on his forehead because he liked to greet people by gently holding their head and headbutting them over and over again telling them to say RAH inbetween bumps heres a vid where it happens

(its near the end)

rock over london, rock on chicago

read paul auster

2008-12-01T10:14:00.000-08:00

shouts out to all my grills. and all the people that really care about what they doing and shit

aight peace

SHAQ

2008-11-21T11:03:00.000-08:00

aight so theres this website called twitter and basically you send texts to it or something and it updates on the website or sends texts to other ppl and anyway some dude made one pretending to be shaq and so shaq made his own called THE_REAL_SHAQ and he updates it all the damn time heres some recent highlights starting from a couple days ago

================================================
Question were is dikembe mutumbo?? 7:26 PM Nov 19th from txt

Why does shane battier always were that golf masters jacket on the bench, lol 7:33 PM Nov 19th from txt

Im at dinner wit the wifey deluxe burger in phoenix, um um um 9:18 PM Nov 19th from txt

I need help subway or schlotsskys for lunch, big game tonite about 23 hours ago from txt

Just wanna say i love kathleen hessert and phoenix suns girl, they introduce me 2 twitter,i love twitter about 23 hours ago from txt

Subway it is turkey n cheese um um um lol about 23 hours ago from txt

Its nap time game time in 6 hrs about 22 hours ago from txt

The giant has awoken lets get ready to rumble about 19 hours ago from txt

On my way 2 da arena. I feel like the main charachter n da movie 300 about 17 hours ago from txt

Just saw the the great phil jackson, gave him a kiss on da cheek about 16 hours ago from txt

Sittin next to steve nash, tryna get hi to join twitter about 16 hours ago from txt

Dam we got smacked about 13 hours ago from txt

Cant sleep, the lakers embarrassed us, im pissed about 8 hours ago from txt

I WANTED TO MEET THE OTHA SHAQ, I WNT CALL HIM FAKE SHAQ about 8 hours ago from web

WERER U PHOENIX GIRL about 8 hours ago from web

THOSE R NOT TYPOS, JUST SAVN MONEY, MORE U TYPE MORE U PAY, LOL about 8 hours ago from web

DATS TWITTER SLANG about 7 hours ago from web

IMNOT GONNA DUNK MY MAIN MAN FIGGY, YOU ARE FUNNY BRO, I LIKE TO LAUGH about 7 hours ago from web

Didnt get much sleep last nite, laker loss imsomnia, lol about 3 hours ago from txt

Is the new james bond movie any good about 3 hours ago from txt
================================================

aight peace

i shine like morrissey on hennessy on christmas eve (nope) naw, more like morris day, on hella yay, dressin gay (ding!)

2008-11-15T19:52:00.000-08:00

ok so here is the game i am playing and if you can get more than 50.9m you are lying because that is the best i can get. if you get going good be warned that there is a god damned hurdle 50m out that you have to jump over (this is why my record is 50.9)

http://www.foddy.net/Athletics.html

aight peace p.s. heres some soulja boy

pickaxe and roll

2008-11-11T11:50:00.000-08:00

ok so this dude has the best nuggets blog in existence and i can say without exaggeration that i read every single update of his

http://www.pickaxeandroll.com/

i will probably add the link on the right at some point

thats basically it i got an intramural game later but im sore as hell right now also i just ate a pretty good bagel and am probably gonna go pass out aight peace

allen iverson traded to detroit for chauncey billups

2008-11-03T11:40:00.000-08:00

while chauncey will probably be a better fit and it's cool that he's a homeboy, kenyon martin and i are still processing our emotions about the whole thing

aight peace

happy halloween nubz

2008-10-30T23:56:00.000-07:00

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AtyJbIOZjS8

things to come!

2008-10-18T13:13:00.000-07:00

by AC (link on the right)

Trading Spouses: The God Warrior

2008-10-14T19:18:00.001-07:00

ok so this is an episode of trading spaces and really this lady is a case study

anyway here it is in segmented youtube form, it's actually two episodes so it's pretty lengthy but it's pretty bizarre from start to finish

------------------------------------------

aight peace

six tiny babies still dependent on diapers took their carts skateboards playpens and pets to line up for the ultimate race to acquire the magical bo

2008-10-07T14:13:00.000-07:00

six tiny babies still dependent on diapers took their carts skateboards playpens and pets to line up for the ultimate race to acquire the magical bottle of milk

regardless of wind rain or any other obstacle these babies are determined to carry their race to the extremes

and theres more to it than that you can show all your skills to these babies with various minigames

or what about pimping-up your playpen with cool extras? prove that you can cope with the speed of these babies

Come on Baby!

Closing of Freestyle Street Basketball

2008-09-20T13:22:00.000-07:00

OK SO sierra online's online basketball game is closing in less then a week. This was announced a few days ago with this vague goodbye:

Goodbye FreeStyle Street Basketball
September 18, 2008
As of September 25th 2008, the FreeStyle Street Basketball service will be closed.

Sierra Online would like to thank all of our players again for their time and efforts on behalf of the game. Over the past 16 months we have had almost a million gamers sign-up for accounts, hosted two dozen events, and even competed in the world championships at Jeju Island in Korea. Thanks to you, FreeStyle Street Basketball has been a great success and it has been a privilege for us to know all of you.

Goodbye and Good luck!

The FreeStyle Team

While this is unfortunate news for anyone in North America that enjoys this game, the lack of explanation is somewhat suspect. Why would Sierra Online be closing a game as popular as FSB, which generates as much money as FSB does with such a small price to pay to maintain it (there were only a few GM's, they didn't spend a lot of money on updates because the game very rarely featured updates, games were not hosted on a central server but on the player's machines, etc)?

One possibility is that the overseas developer of the game, JC Entertainment, is growing and wants to publish the game in the US for their own direct profit rather than using Sierra Online to mediate the publishing process. This would explain the sparse updates over the past few years - JC Entertainment may have been bullying Sierra Online to give up the rights by withholding updates, forcing Sierra's increasingly agitated customers to sit and watch as the overseas versions offered more and more new content for its players. This exact phenomenon occurred a while ago with international publisher Gala-Net and Korean developer Yedang. I recently had a chance to speak with a head GM for Gala-Net on this particular project, and I brought up the situation with Sierra Online and JCE. In response to this explanation, he replied: "I wouldn't be surprised... a lot of Korean companies are trying to publish on their own in the US."

The other potential (and, in my opinion, more likely) explanation for this lies in the recent merger between industry behemoths Activision and Vivendi. Ben Fritz of Variety has this to say about the merger:

I've had numerous sources tell me that development teams on all of Vivendi's games now have to essentially pitch their projects to Activision executives. Until the merger is technically complete, work proceeds as usual, but once it's over, Activision will start making some decisions. And it seems very unlikely that everything at Sierra will keep going as it has been.

Sierra Online is owned by Vivendi, and thus FSB will have to "justify [its] own existence to [its] soon-to-be corporate masters at Activision." Judging from the results, it seems that the pitch didn't go so well.

Hopefully, JC Entertainment will find a way to publish another North American version of the game, or perhaps an international version. For the time being, North American players are flocking by the hundreds to the Phillipines version of the game, which will hopefully alert the game developers to the devotedness of North American players. These players have devoted quite a bit of time and energy into the game itself, and lots of players have dumped considerable amounts of money into the game as well. These customers are furious with Sierra's lack of compensation or explanation, and, in my opinion, they are absolutely justified.

also i made a totally bomb fried egg sandwich which i ate while typing this it was delicious aight peace

chat with ma

2008-09-18T22:23:00.000-07:00

soundtrack:

user guest_ has entered room

analyst Ma has entered room

Ma (Fri Sep 19 2008 00:47:40 GMT-0600 (Mountain Daylight Time))>

Hello guest_, Thank you for contacting Comcast Live Chat Support. My name is Ma . Please give me one moment to review your information.

Ma (Fri Sep 19 2008 00:47:45 GMT-0600 (Mountain Daylight Time))>

Hello! I am Ma Lorena. How are you today?

Ma (Fri Sep 19 2008 00:48:02 GMT-0600 (Mountain Daylight Time))>

Before anything else may I know who I am talking with, please?

guest_(Thu Sep 18 2008 22:48:05 GMT-0600 (Mountain Daylight Time))>

Hi Ma! (Do you mind if i call you Ma or perhaps Ma L?) I am well. How about you?

guest_(Thu Sep 18 2008 22:48:12 GMT-0600 (Mountain Daylight Time))>

This is Charles ****.

Ma (Fri Sep 19 2008 00:48:20 GMT-0600 (Mountain Daylight Time))>

any as you wish

guest_(Thu Sep 18 2008 22:48:22 GMT-0600 (Mountain Daylight Time))>

I apologize for not introducing myself first, Ma.

Ma (Fri Sep 19 2008 00:48:38 GMT-0600 (Mountain Daylight Time))>

How may I help you Ch?arles

Ma (Fri Sep 19 2008 00:48:43 GMT-0600 (Mountain Daylight Time))>

no a problem

Ma (Fri Sep 19 2008 00:48:53 GMT-0600 (Mountain Daylight Time))>

not a problem

guest_(Thu Sep 18 2008 22:49:42 GMT-0600 (Mountain Daylight Time))>

Ok Ma, we were looking to upgrade our cable TV somewhat. Basketball season is beginning soon and we would like the cheapest available option that will allow us to watch the Denver Nuggets (our favorite team).

Ma (Fri Sep 19 2008 00:50:09 GMT-0600 (Mountain Daylight Time))>

okay I can help you with that.

guest_(Thu Sep 18 2008 22:50:21 GMT-0600 (Mountain Daylight Time))>

I am thrilled.

Ma (Fri Sep 19 2008 00:50:21 GMT-0600 (Mountain Daylight Time))>

may I know the service address please

guest_(Thu Sep 18 2008 22:50:31 GMT-0600 (Mountain Daylight Time))>

You may! It is as follows.

Ma (Fri Sep 19 2008 00:50:32 GMT-0600 (Mountain Daylight Time))>

Great!

guest_(Thu Sep 18 2008 22:50:44 GMT-0600 (Mountain Daylight Time))>

blah balh balh balh blah blah blah words

guest_(Thu Sep 18 2008 22:50:48 GMT-0600 (Mountain Daylight Time))>

city state zip code

guest_(Thu Sep 18 2008 22:51:00 GMT-0600 (Mountain Daylight Time))>

U.S.A.

Ma (Fri Sep 19 2008 00:51:17 GMT-0600 (Mountain Daylight Time))>

thank you for the information

Ma (Fri Sep 19 2008 00:51:25 GMT-0600 (Mountain Daylight Time))>

let me check on the services

guest_(Thu Sep 18 2008 22:51:43 GMT-0600 (Mountain Daylight Time))>

Thanks Ma! I'll wait here.

Ma (Fri Sep 19 2008 00:53:13 GMT-0600 (Mountain Daylight Time))>

Charles I can see that you have the basic cable with us, right?

guest_(Thu Sep 18 2008 22:53:58 GMT-0600 (Mountain Daylight Time))>

That is correct, Ma. We actually have upgraded before for the prior NBA season (we then downgraded back to basic for the offseason. We don't have a lot of extra cash at the moment, Ma).

Ma (Fri Sep 19 2008 00:55:22 GMT-0600 (Mountain Daylight Time))>

I understand that, for you to watch the basket games you need to have the digital starter starter so that we can add the sport channel

guest_(Thu Sep 18 2008 22:56:10 GMT-0600 (Mountain Daylight Time))>

We only need the "sport channel" if it's the cheapest available option. The only team we want to watch is the Denver Nuggets, which are locally broadcasted on the Altitude network (channel 25, I believe)

Ma (Fri Sep 19 2008 00:57:35 GMT-0600 (Mountain Daylight Time))>

Okay let me check on that

guest_(Thu Sep 18 2008 22:57:48 GMT-0600 (Mountain Daylight Time))>

Take your time, Ma.

Ma (Fri Sep 19 2008 01:02:41 GMT-0600 (Mountain Daylight Time))>

Charles it will only work with the digital pacakage.

Ma (Fri Sep 19 2008 01:02:49 GMT-0600 (Mountain Daylight Time))>

but let me find a discount for you

guest_(Thu Sep 18 2008 23:03:13 GMT-0600 (Mountain Daylight Time))>

Ok! That would be lovely, Ma.

guest_(Thu Sep 18 2008 23:03:18 GMT-0600 (Mountain Daylight Time))>

I really appreciate it.

Ma (Fri Sep 19 2008 01:04:41 GMT-0600 (Mountain Daylight Time))>

OKay Charles I can give you the digital starter for $29.99 for 6 months and the digital sports channel for free for 6 months too

Ma (Fri Sep 19 2008 01:04:47 GMT-0600 (Mountain Daylight Time))>

how does that sounds?

guest_(Thu Sep 18 2008 23:05:41 GMT-0600 (Mountain Daylight Time))>

That sounds good, as long as it gives us the Altitude channel (and TNT as well, if possible). Also, what happens after six months?

Ma (Fri Sep 19 2008 01:06:20 GMT-0600 (Mountain Daylight Time))>

you will be paying the regular price after 6 months.

Ma (Fri Sep 19 2008 01:06:38 GMT-0600 (Mountain Daylight Time))>

that is for $56.95/month and sports channel for $4.95/month

Ma (Fri Sep 19 2008 01:07:01 GMT-0600 (Mountain Daylight Time))>

I can give you you the installation for free.

guest_(Thu Sep 18 2008 23:07:14 GMT-0600 (Mountain Daylight Time))>

If you don't mind me asking, Ma, will we be able to cancel either service at that point if we so choose?

Ma (Fri Sep 19 2008 01:07:47 GMT-0600 (Mountain Daylight Time))>

yes that is right you can cancel the services anytime you want.

Ma (Fri Sep 19 2008 01:08:13 GMT-0600 (Mountain Daylight Time))>

you can go back to basic cable after the season if you want to, all you have to do is call Comcast

guest_(Thu Sep 18 2008 23:08:32 GMT-0600 (Mountain Daylight Time))>

That sounds lovely. We really appreciate the discounts as well, Ma.

Ma (Fri Sep 19 2008 01:08:53 GMT-0600 (Mountain Daylight Time))>

you are currently paying $15.99 for you cable right?

Ma (Fri Sep 19 2008 01:09:12 GMT-0600 (Mountain Daylight Time))>

that will be change to $29.99 that is a matter of $14/month

guest_(Thu Sep 18 2008 23:09:19 GMT-0600 (Mountain Daylight Time))>

We are paying $60 or so, but that includes our internet service.

Ma (Fri Sep 19 2008 01:09:30 GMT-0600 (Mountain Daylight Time))>

yes I can see that

Ma (Fri Sep 19 2008 01:09:37 GMT-0600 (Mountain Daylight Time))>

should we proceed now?

guest_(Thu Sep 18 2008 23:09:57 GMT-0600 (Mountain Daylight Time))>

A $14 dollar change per month is outstanding. We would love to proceed with you, Ma. Whenever you are ready.

Ma (Fri Sep 19 2008 01:10:25 GMT-0600 (Mountain Daylight Time))>

okay I do that right after the account verification

Ma (Fri Sep 19 2008 01:11:08 GMT-0600 (Mountain Daylight Time))>

I need to verify the full name of the account holder with the last four of his SSn.

guest_(Thu Sep 18 2008 23:11:24 GMT-0600 (Mountain Daylight Time))>

blha blah blah blah words

Ma (Fri Sep 19 2008 01:11:23 GMT-0600 (Mountain Daylight Time))>

Complete billing address with the phone number

Ma (Fri Sep 19 2008 01:11:34 GMT-0600 (Mountain Daylight Time))>

thank you

guest_(Thu Sep 18 2008 23:11:51 GMT-0600 (Mountain Daylight Time))>

blong bleep blorp hi su-woop brrap

guest_(Thu Sep 18 2008 23:12:00 GMT-0600 (Mountain Daylight Time))>

words words words

Ma (Fri Sep 19 2008 01:12:13 GMT-0600 (Mountain Daylight Time))>

thank you for all those information

guest_(Thu Sep 18 2008 23:12:24 GMT-0600 (Mountain Daylight Time))>

Anytime, Ma.

Ma (Fri Sep 19 2008 01:12:48 GMT-0600 (Mountain Daylight Time))>

I am now on the scheduling and the soonest that we have for you will be on 09/23/2008 between 10am - 12pm, will that work?

guest_(Thu Sep 18 2008 23:14:01 GMT-0600 (Mountain Daylight Time))>

Unfortunately, we all will have classes at that time. Is there a weekend or evening date available?

Ma (Fri Sep 19 2008 01:14:17 GMT-0600 (Mountain Daylight Time))>

let me check on jtaht

guest_(Thu Sep 18 2008 23:14:26 GMT-0600 (Mountain Daylight Time))>

Take your time, Ma.

Ma (Fri Sep 19 2008 01:14:35 GMT-0600 (Mountain Daylight Time))>

while I am checking please provide me the following information

Ma (Fri Sep 19 2008 01:14:44 GMT-0600 (Mountain Daylight Time))>

Please provide me with the following information so that I can process your order: 1. Pre-call no., primary & secondary no. - so that the technician can call you 15 mins. before the installation schedule. 2. nearest Cross Intersection to your home. 3. If you want to have our new promotion: The Service Protection Plan (SPP) = this will provide you with worry-free protection for any potential in-home wiring problem with your cable TV, High Speed Internet or telephone service. With the protection plan, If anything goes wrong with the inside wiring a professionally trained technician will identify the problem and fix it quickly. This low cost service protection plan is only $2.95 a month

Ma (Fri Sep 19 2008 01:15:37 GMT-0600 (Mountain Daylight Time))>

the latest schedule that we have is between 3-5pm, but we also have saturday and sunday installation

guest_(Thu Sep 18 2008 23:16:26 GMT-0600 (Mountain Daylight Time))>

1. phone numbers

guest_(Thu Sep 18 2008 23:16:38 GMT-0600 (Mountain Daylight Time))>

2. intersection

guest_(Thu Sep 18 2008 23:17:11 GMT-0600 (Mountain Daylight Time))>

On that first one, I got the third number wrong. It should be correct phone numbers.

guest_(Thu Sep 18 2008 23:17:28 GMT-0600 (Mountain Daylight Time))>

3. No, thank you. We will foolishly take our chances.

Ma (Fri Sep 19 2008 01:17:44 GMT-0600 (Mountain Daylight Time))>

Okay no problem

guest_(Thu Sep 18 2008 23:17:51 GMT-0600 (Mountain Daylight Time))>

Saturday or Sunday will probably be best for us.

Ma (Fri Sep 19 2008 01:17:55 GMT-0600 (Mountain Daylight Time))>

so what installation date would you want?

Ma (Fri Sep 19 2008 01:18:04 GMT-0600 (Mountain Daylight Time))>

morning or afternoon?

guest_(Thu Sep 18 2008 23:18:23 GMT-0600 (Mountain Daylight Time))>

Afternoon, if possible

Ma (Fri Sep 19 2008 01:18:53 GMT-0600 (Mountain Daylight Time))>

09/27/2008 between 3-5pm will that work?

guest_(Thu Sep 18 2008 23:19:22 GMT-0600 (Mountain Daylight Time))>

That sounds lovely.

Ma (Fri Sep 19 2008 01:19:32 GMT-0600 (Mountain Daylight Time))>

okay I will set taht for you

Ma (Fri Sep 19 2008 01:19:44 GMT-0600 (Mountain Daylight Time))>

Your order has been processed.Your order confirmation number is 10033b2u3t6t359a4s6s071. Thank you for choosing Comcast. We do appreciate your business. Please do not hesitate to chat with Comcast again at www.comcast.com. We are always available, 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. Have a wonderful day!

Ma (Fri Sep 19 2008 01:19:50 GMT-0600 (Mountain Daylight Time))>

To end this chat, please do click on END SESSION button. Thank you.

guest_(Thu Sep 18 2008 23:20:00 GMT-0600 (Mountain Daylight Time))>

Thank you very much, Ma. It has been a pleasure.

Ma (Fri Sep 19 2008 01:20:10 GMT-0600 (Mountain Daylight Time))>

you are welcome

Ma (Fri Sep 19 2008 01:20:28 GMT-0600 (Mountain Daylight Time))>

It was also a pleasure chatting with you

Ma (Fri Sep 19 2008 01:20:33 GMT-0600 (Mountain Daylight Time))>

Bye and take care

Ma (Fri Sep 19 2008 01:20:36 GMT-0600 (Mountain Daylight Time))>

To end this chat, please do click on END SESSION button. Thank you.

guest_(Thu Sep 18 2008 23:20:51 GMT-0600 (Mountain Daylight Time))>

Thank you, Ma. Same to you!

Ma (Fri Sep 19 2008 01:21:01 GMT-0600 (Mountain Daylight Time))>

bye

guest_(Thu Sep 18 2008 23:21:09 GMT-0600 (Mountain Daylight Time))>

Bye!

Ma (Fri Sep 19 2008 01:21:33 GMT-0600 (Mountain Daylight Time))>

Analyst has closed chat and left the room

analyst Ma has left room

word of advice to people with fridges full of condiments and no food

2008-09-12T15:59:00.000-07:00

you can totally make really ballin egg salad/tuna salad sandwiches with all those condiments dogg trust me get crazy with it u wont regret it

oh no you didnt

2008-09-10T21:41:00.000-07:00

nort: lol why...
nort: strange...
nort: if you gonna do it man...
nort: don't drip it
nort: spray that shit
guuuuuuurnt: he likes dragging it out
nort: fuckin pocketing it...
guuuuuuurnt: lmao
guuuuuuurnt: pockets the ketch
nort: yeah this s sorta gay
nort: lol not doing it with enough conviction
guuuuuuurnt: he kinda got a childlike whimsy tho
nort: do you even want to be here man?!?! pouring ketchup on ur self
nort: iono man.
nort: no personality
guuuuuuurnt: ya. this vid is creepy
nort: yea just weird
nort: even if he was making like
guuuuuuurnt: pretty kewl tho
nort: noises
nort: like "ughh?
nort: or "ohhh yeah"
nort: anything
guuuuuuurnt: he's all business
nort: i could go for some oh yeahs
guuuuuuurnt: no foreplay here
nort: boooring
nort: talk dirty to me kethcup man

these days i have more fun making characters in video games

2008-09-05T20:03:00.000-07:00

than i do playing the games themselves

somethin really awesome is happenin

2008-08-27T10:30:00.001-07:00

im gonna make a huge post about it later but here is a preview

help me

2008-08-25T20:21:00.000-07:00

i havent posted in a while

2008-08-19T09:57:00.000-07:00

so heres a baby eating a lemon and a video of chris bosh and dwight howard trying to eat burgers in china

click da babby

-----------------------------------------------

aight peace

dat baby dont look like me

2008-08-09T12:28:00.000-07:00

Myth in the technical sense is a serious object of study, because true myth is by definition deadly serious to its originating environment. In myth are expressed the thought patterns by which a group formulates self-cognition and self-realization, attains self-knowledge and self-confidence, explains its own source and being and that of its surroundings, and sometimes tries to chart its destinies. By myth man has lived, died, and--all too often--killed. (Comparative Mythology, 2)

Jaan Puhvel

fresh to death

2008-08-01T20:41:00.000-07:00

user guest_ has entered room

analyst Edna Lyn has entered room

Edna Lyn(Sat Jun 28 2008 15:16:25 GMT-0600 (Mountain Daylight Time))>

Hello guest_, Thank you for contacting Comcast Live Chat Support. My name is Edna Lyn. Please give me one moment to review your information.

Edna Lyn(Sat Jun 28 2008 15:16:28 GMT-0600 (Mountain Daylight Time))>

Hi, how are you today?

guest_(Sat Jun 28 2008 13:17:17 GMT-0600 (Mountain Daylight Time))>

HI EDNA LYN, I AM DOING WELL HOW ABOUT YOURSELF

Edna Lyn(Sat Jun 28 2008 15:17:04 GMT-0600 (Mountain Daylight Time))>

Glad to know that!

Edna Lyn(Sat Jun 28 2008 15:17:06 GMT-0600 (Mountain Daylight Time))>

I am doing great! Thank you for asking.

Edna Lyn(Sat Jun 28 2008 15:17:17 GMT-0600 (Mountain Daylight Time))>

How may I help you today?

guest_(Sat Jun 28 2008 13:17:57 GMT-0600 (Mountain Daylight Time))>

Great to hear! No problem Edna Lyn.

guest_(Sat Jun 28 2008 13:18:44 GMT-0600 (Mountain Daylight Time))>

Today I was planning on asking you about getting rid of our Comcast TV Cable thing. Not our internet cable, just the one that goes into the television. This is because the NBA Playoffs are finally over, and that was the only reason we wanted it in the first place (we will want it reinstalled when basketball season starts up again).

Edna Lyn(Sat Jun 28 2008 15:19:20 GMT-0600 (Mountain Daylight Time))>

I understand. You really love basketball!

Edna Lyn(Sat Jun 28 2008 15:19:58 GMT-0600 (Mountain Daylight Time))>

Regarding disconnecting your cable I may advise you to call 1-800-comcast.

guest_(Sat Jun 28 2008 13:20:29 GMT-0600 (Mountain Daylight Time))>

We do! We play at the rec as often as we can. We are pinched for money though, so we have to play outside because I can't afford the rec pass for the summer. The Comcast situation is similar, Edna Lyn.

Edna Lyn(Sat Jun 28 2008 15:20:54 GMT-0600 (Mountain Daylight Time))>

It is okay.

Edna Lyn(Sat Jun 28 2008 15:20:58 GMT-0600 (Mountain Daylight Time))>

My resources here are limited and disconnection can be done by calling our phone support.

guest_(Sat Jun 28 2008 13:21:30 GMT-0600 (Mountain Daylight Time))>

Ok Edna Lyn.

Edna Lyn(Sat Jun 28 2008 15:21:09 GMT-0600 (Mountain Daylight Time))>

Please call 1-800-comcast.

guest_(Sat Jun 28 2008 13:21:41 GMT-0600 (Mountain Daylight Time))>

We are calling the number right now. He's right next to me calling it.

Edna Lyn(Sat Jun 28 2008 15:21:32 GMT-0600 (Mountain Daylight Time))>

If you want it back for the next season please feel free to chat with us again.

guest_(Sat Jun 28 2008 13:21:58 GMT-0600 (Mountain Daylight Time))>

It's ringing. Are you there?

Edna Lyn(Sat Jun 28 2008 15:22:15 GMT-0600 (Mountain Daylight Time))>

We have another agent who will gladly assist you in 1-800-comcast. Please stay with him.

Edna Lyn(Sat Jun 28 2008 15:22:18 GMT-0600 (Mountain Daylight Time))>

Is there anything else I can assist you with today?

guest_(Sat Jun 28 2008 13:23:21 GMT-0600 (Mountain Daylight Time))>

Oh. No, I don't think so, unless you were thinking of something. I've only done this before once.

Edna Lyn(Sat Jun 28 2008 15:23:09 GMT-0600 (Mountain Daylight Time))>

Okay.

Edna Lyn(Sat Jun 28 2008 15:23:10 GMT-0600 (Mountain Daylight Time))>

Thank you for contacting Comcast. If you need assistance in the future, please do not hesitate to chat with Comcast again at www.comcast.com. We are available 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. Have a great day!

guest_(Sat Jun 28 2008 13:23:51 GMT-0600 (Mountain Daylight Time))>

You too, Edna Lyn!

Edna Lyn(Sat Jun 28 2008 15:23:35 GMT-0600 (Mountain Daylight Time))>

Thank you.

guest_(Sat Jun 28 2008 13:24:04 GMT-0600 (Mountain Daylight Time))>

No problem.

Edna Lyn(Sat Jun 28 2008 15:24:51 GMT-0600 (Mountain Daylight Time))>

Analyst has closed chat and left the room

john mccain was actually pretty hot when he was younger

2008-07-30T23:03:00.000-07:00

aint nobody around - im jus sittin here by myself

2008-07-18T11:39:00.000-07:00

"People of taste tell us nowadays that Renoir is a great eighteenth-century painter. But in so saying they forget the element of Time, and that it took a great deal of time, even at the height of the nineteenth century, for Renoir to be hailed as a great artist. To succeed thus in gaining recognition, the original painter or the original writer proceeds on the lines of the oculist. The course of treatment they give us by their painting or by their prose is not always pleasant. When it is at an end the practitioner says to us: 'Now look!' And, lo and behold, the world around us (which was not created once and for all, but is created afresh as often as an original artist is born) appears to us entirely different from the old world, but perfectly clear. Women pass in the street, different from those we formerly saw, because they are Renoirs, those Renoirs we persistently refused to see as women. The carriages, too, are Renoirs, and the water, and the sky; we feel tempted to go for a walk in the forest which is identical with the one which when we first saw it looked like anything in the world except a forest, like for instance a tapestry of innumerable hues but lacking precisely the hues peculiar to forests. Such is the new and perishable universe which has just been created. It will last until the next geological catastrophe is precipitated by a new painter or writer of original talent."

Marcel Proust

i havent updated in a while

2008-07-15T11:33:00.000-07:00

lol my roommate just sent me this

So one of you guys opened my door last night... and left it open. The hall light combined with ya'lls giggling eventually woke me. Then I layed for an hour trying to fall back asleep. At about 2:30 in the morning some bitch was fucking rapping loud as fuck outside. I contemplated yelling shut the fuck up out the window but then thought he might get angered and start rapping right outside my window. I heard you sneeze and say both I and J during the night. Then I fell asleep by like 3.
I hate you.
Fo reals reals not for play play.

also a girl was checkin me out so hard in wal mart she walked into the watermelons and i was all booya but later i was eatin a chipotle on this patio outside and im all in gym shorts and sandals (this is what i have been wearing) and mosquitoes basically ate me alive (just on my feet though i think thats the only place on my body where they can get through my fur which usually does a really good job keeping the bugs off)

also i hate youtubes that don't allow embedding

aight peace

happy july 4th noobs

2008-07-04T00:55:00.000-07:00

this country owns

anyway to celebrate heres a blog post about the biggest dog in the world

his name is samson and he is a cross between a great dane and a newfoundland. he weighs 276 pounds and is 6'5 when standing on his back legs

.

the trees they run fast

2008-07-01T10:49:00.000-07:00

done by A.C.

is it gettin hot in here or is it. JUST~ ME~!

2008-06-27T16:23:00.000-07:00

HEY U THEAH

2008-06-22T20:36:00.000-07:00

gurnt: HEY
gurnt: YOU THEAH
Neff: HEy YOU THEAH
gurnt: HEY
gurnt: U THEAH
Neff: HEy YOU THEAHA
gurnt: U THEAR
gurnt: U THAER
gurnt: U THaeR
Neff: YOU THEHE YOU THEAH
gurnt: u there u ther isaid HEY
gurnt: U THEAH
Neff: I SIAD Hey YOU THEAHA
gurnt: HEY
gurnt: U THERE
gurnt: HEY!, You There.
Neff: HEy YOU THEAH

gucci ban-danna gucci gucci ban-danna

2008-06-20T01:47:00.000-07:00

ok so i had a youtube account since forever and basically it should statistically know me pretty well based off the videos ive viewed and the videos ive favorited and commented on and rated and all that

so they got this new feature that actually looks at all that shit and then recommends videos to you based off of all that and heres what they got for me

theres a fun vid at the end of this so u can skip it its nerdy

2008-06-14T10:41:00.000-07:00

these actually work

James while John had had had had had had had had had had had a better effect on the teacher

lemme punctuate this bitch check it out

James, while John had had "had", had had "had had"; "had had" had had a better effect on the teacher.

booya another one is

Buffalo buffalo Buffalo buffalo buffalo buffalo Buffalo buffalo

* c. The city of Buffalo, New York (or any other place named "Buffalo"), which is used as an adjective in the sentence and is followed by the animal;
* a. The animal buffalo, in the plural (equivalent to "buffaloes"), in order to avoid articles (a noun);
* v. The verb "buffalo" meaning to bully, confuse, deceive, or intimidate.

Marking each "buffalo" with its use as shown above gives

Buffalo(c) buffalo(a) Buffalo(c) buffalo(a) buffalo(v) buffalo(v) Buffalo(c) buffalo(a).

Bison from Buffalo, New York who are intimidated by other bison in their community also happen to intimidate other bison in their community.

aite thanks for readin my cool sentences heres a neat video about college and teamwork

ALL THE GIRLS STANDING IN THE LINE FOR THE BATHROOM

2008-06-13T12:22:00.000-07:00

neffamenjaro: whats the most obscure word you know the definition to
gurnt: i dunno but my favorite word is eviscerate
gurnt: i think the most obscure word i know the definition to
gurnt: probablyyy
gurnt: aristeia
neffamenjaro: whats the def
gurnt: of eviscerate or aristeia
gurnt: oh i got another
neffamenjaro: both
gurnt: tricoloncrescence
gurnt: also
gurnt: teichoscopia
gurnt: im on a roll now
gurnt: why do u want to know
gurnt: are u impressing internet girls with my vocabulary
neffamenjaro: lol
neffamenjaro: yes
neffamenjaro: HOW DO YOU KNOW?
gurnt: lucky guess
neffamenjaro: http://www.okcupid.com/profile?u=laurenrachael
gurnt: is it her?
neffamenjaro: at the bottom it says you're a smart, secure man
neffamenjaro: DON"T FUCK WITH ME
gurnt: lmao

but im so fast when i blow past that they cant BREATHE

2008-06-09T14:32:00.000-07:00

so basically this is a blog about soulja boy and his youtube account

2008-06-06T01:16:00.000-07:00

because seriously this is awesome anyway ill fill in ppl who arent in the know

soulja boy is this 17 year old kid that skyrocketed into rap superstardom in a heartbeat and now he basically singlehandedly dictates a pretty relevant sphere of popular consciousness

he ended up making a youtube account that makes me wonder if his managers know about it because it's not any sort of official edited made-for-public thing or anything, it's obviously run by him and his friends and is just like any other 17 year old's youtube account save that it's a 17 year old with a virtually unspendable amount of money

anyway tons of people hate him (he generates ill-will like no one i've ever seen and this is probably my favorite thing about him) and i'm not puttin his videos up here to make fun of him or call him stupid or anything, i just think that people that are highlighted by popularity very rarely get the chance to say or show something that isn't strictly edited by the people who are looking out for their careers, and i think the freedoms of the internet combined with soulja boy's give-no-fuck ideology (and perhaps the attitude of his publicity manager, or lack of a publicity dude altogether, i dont know how it works at all) give a rare glimpse into the sort of life that so many americans dream about.

while he does definitely have a ridiculous amount of money which is really the subtle sentence of these videos, my favorite parts are when he drops the celebrity persona a bit and just acts like any other 17-year-old kid. these moments are more blatant than i'm making them sound.

he recently posted a five-part piece detailing his trip through tokyo. here it is!

if you cannot bear to watch all of these (which i strongly suggest you do), at least watch the third one. this monologue, and its climactic ending, sum it all up pretty well i think.

im up late watchin these because i got a damn virus scan running and its been goin for hours and its almost done and i dont wanna stop it by turnin off my computer. i would leave it on but my computer itself (not the monitor) glows really bright and green and blinky and it lights up the whole room so i gotta turn it off so i can sleep in here

so this is basically how my application to grad school went

2008-06-04T00:30:00.000-07:00

gurnt: help me find a mp3
gup: found it
gup: Cat Stevens - If you want to sing out, sing out.mp3

i hurtey wurtied my ankey wankey

2008-05-30T01:38:00.000-07:00

ok so i was playin bball doin 1 on 1s and then i was winnin this one and there was a loose ball and i was runnin for it but i stepped on the other guys shoe and rolled my ankle kinda funny and i kept it tight in the shoe for a while so it didnt swell but once i took it off it was all gross and bruised lookin

even tho ankle braces are only like 7 bucks i prolly wont be able to play for a while which is mega gay these are dark times

ktown: dude iam so damn hungry
ktown: all we got is like 6 mochi daifuku which is hella candy

gurnt: lmao
gurnt: i went shopping again tonight
gurnt: i alreayd went once this week
gurnt: and spent like fucken 30 bucks

ktown: me too man

gurnt: and then i went again tonight for ankle brace and ended up getting more food

ktown: what'd you get?

gurnt: fucken toritllas and shit
gurnt: uh some cheese i m thinkin i could put in the tortilla

ktown: i am insane with jealousy right now

gurnt: y

ktown: all we got was like wierd japanese food for this one recipe

gurnt: lmao

ktown: so now we got all this like seaweed and cabbage

gurnt: i just get basic food for normal cooking

ktown: and those do not make a delicious quesadilla
ktown: yeah we should
ktown: we always get the dumbest crap
ktown: we are the worst shoppers

gurnt: if i'm feeling adventurous i'll get like
gurnt: an onion

ktown: i got yogurt which i do eat daily but I got the wrong kind and it tastes like cancer

gurnt: lmao

ktown: i think its made with SPLENDA

gurnt: sometimes ill get like an artichoke
gurnt: splenda is fucking nasty

ktown: damn i would pay like a solid 6 dollars for an artichoke right now

gurnt: dude they're a dollar fifty
gurnt: i remember because neff and i sang a song about it
gurnt: ima tell u
gurnt: like wu told me
gurnt: artichokes are
gurnt: a dolla fif ty
gurnt: dolla dolla fifty.

ktown: hahaha
ktown: hahahaha man your life is awesome

u r a q t

2008-05-28T11:56:00.000-07:00

is ur dad a deala cuz u dope 2 me

i am obviously less flattered by these comparisons

summer post

2008-05-25T12:24:00.000-07:00

yesterday i played basketball the entire evening until like 1am and my entire body is sore but i aint got much to do today cuz im still waitin to hear back from grad school even tho grades are out so i can figure out what kind of job i need to be applying to so in the meantime its kinda like this again

I SURVIVED FUCK ALL YALL

2008-05-16T13:26:00.001-07:00

yall thought that would kill me but GUESS WHAT

its summertime and im still alive

aaaaaaaaaaaaaa

2008-05-16T01:05:00.000-07:00

Pearce the Black Monke
upon the Elixir.

Take Erth of Erth, Erths Moder,
And Watur of Erth yt ys no oder,
And Fier of Erth that beryth the pryse,
But of that Erth louke thow be wyse,
The trew Elixer yf thow wylt make,
Erth owte of Erth looke that thow take,
Pewer futel faire and good,
And than take the Water of the Wood:
Cleere as Chrystall schynyng bryght:
And do hem togeder anon ryght,
Thre dayes than let hem lye,
And than depart hem pryvyly and flye,
Than shall be browght Watur schynyng,
And in that Watur ys a foule reynynge,
Invisble and hyd and unseen,
A marvelous matter yt ys to weene.
Than depart them by dystillynge,
And you schalle see an Erth apperinge,
Hevie as metal schalle yt be;
In the wych is hyd grete prevety,
Destil that Erth in grene hewe,
Three days during well and trew;
And do hem in a body of glass,
In the wych never no warke was.
In a Furnas he must be sett,
And on hys hede a good lymbeck;
And draw fro hym a Watur clere
The wych Watur hath no peere,
And aftur macke your Fyer stronger,
And there on thy glasse continew longer,
So schal yow se come a Fyer;
Red as blode and of grete yre,
And aftur that an Erth leue there schale,
The wych is cleped the Moder of alle;
Then to Purgatory sche must be doe,
And have the paynes that longs thereto,
Tyl sche be bryghter than the Sune,
For than thow hast the Maystrey wone;
And that schalbe wythin howre three,
The wych forsooth ys grete ferly:
Than do her in a clene Glass,
Wyth some of the Watur that hers was.
And in a Furnas do her againe,
Tyl sche have drunke her Watur certaine,
And aftur that Watur give her Blood,
That was her owne pewre and good,
And whan sche hath dranke alle her Fyer,
Sche wyll wex strong and of grete yre.
Than take you mete and mycke thereto,
And fede the Chylde as you schowlde do,
Tyl he be growne to hys full age,
Than schal he be of strong courage;
And tourne alle Bodies that leyfull be,
To hys own powre and dignitye,
And this ys the makyng of owre Stone,
The trewth here ys towlde yow evereech one.
For all that taketh any other wey,
Mouch they looseth and mouch they may,
For trewly there ys no other way of righte,
But Body of Body and Lyghte of Lyghte,
Man of Man begottyn ys,
And Beste of Beste to hys lykenes,
Alle the fooles in the worlde seeken;
A thynge that they may never meeten,
They wolde have Metalle owte of hem,
That never was fownde by worldly men:
Ne never was fownde by Goddis myghte,
That they schould beare any such fyghte.
All Saltes and Sulphures far and nere,
I interdite hem alle in fere,
Alle Corosive waters, Blood and Hayre,
Pyss, Hornes, Worms and Saudiver,
Alume, Atriment, Alle I suspende,
Rasalger [Rafalger] and Arsnick I defende,
Calx vive, and Calx mort hys Brother,
I suspende them both, one and other,
For of alle things I wyll no moe,
But sowre Elements in Generall I say soe,
Sun and Moone, Erth and Water;
And here ys alle that men of clatter,
Our Gold and Sylver ben no common plate,
But a sperme owte of a Bodi I take,
In the wych ys alle Sol, Lune, Lyfe and Lyghte
Water and Erth, Fyre and Fryght:
And alle commyth of one Image,
But the Water of the Wood makyth the marryage;
Therefore there ys none other waye,
But to take thee to thy Beades and praye:
For Covetous Men yt fyndyth never,
Though they seek yt once and ever,
Set not your Hearts in thys thyng,
But only to God and good lyvynge.
And he that wyll come thereby,
Must be meeke, and full of mercy:
Both in Spyrit and in Countenannace,
Full of Chereti and good Governaunce;
And evermore full of almes deede,
Symple and pewerly hys lyf to leade:
Wyth Prayers, Pennaunces, and Piety,
And ever to God a lover be,
And alle the ryches that he ys sped,
To do God wrschyppe wyth Almes deede.
In Arsenyck sublymed there ys a way streight,
Wyth Mercury calcyned nyne tymes hys weight
And grownde together with Water of myght
That bereth ingression lye and lyght,
And anon as they togyther byne,
Alle runnyth to Water bryght and shene,
Upon thys Fyre they grow togethyr,
Tyll they be fast and flee no whythyr;
But than feede hem fowrth wyth thy hond,
Wyth mylke and meate tyle they be stringe,
And thow schalt have there a good Stone,
Whereof and Ounc on fowrty wyll gone:
Upon Venus or on Mercury,
Thys Medicyn wyll make thee merry.
And yow that have fowght mani a day,
Leave worke, take yowre Beades and pray,
For the longer that yow seeken,
The longer yt ys or yow meeten;
And he that now sayne would be sped,
Lysten to my Daughter Megg:
For schhe scall tell yow trewth and ryghte,
Hearken now wyth all your myght.
I am Mercury the myghty Flower,
I am most worthy of Honour;
I am sours of Sol, Luna, and Mars,
I am genderer of Iovis, many be my snares:
I am setler of Saturne, and sours of Venus,
I am Empresse, Pryncesses and Regall of Queenes,
I am Mother of Myrrour, and maker of lyght,
I am head and hyghest and fayrest in syght:
I am both Sun, and Moone,
I am sche that alle thynges must doone.
I have a Daughter hight Saturne that ys my darlyng,
The wych ys Mother of all werking,
For in my Daughter there byne hydd,
Fowre thyngs Commonly I kydd:
A Golden seede, and a spearme rych,
And a Silver seede none hym lich;
And a Mercury seede full bryght,
And a Sulphur seede that ys ryght.
Of my Daughter wythowten dred,
Byn made Elyxirs whyte and redd,
Therefor of her draw a Water cler,
The Scyence yf thow lyst to leare.
Thys Water reduceth every thynge,
To tendernes and to fyxing:
It burgeneth growyth and gyveth fryght and lyght,
Ingression lyfe and lastyng in syght:
Alle ryghteous werkes sooth to say,
It helpeth and bryngyth in a good way:
Thys ys the Water that ys most worthy,
Aqua perfectissima & flos mundi:
For alle werks thys Water makyth whyte,
Reducyng and schyning as Sylver bryght:
And of the Oyle greate marvell there ys,
For all thyngs yt bryngyth to rednes:
As Cytrine gold he ys full high,
None ye so redd nor none ys so worthy:
And in the Erth grete marvele ys hyd,
That ys first so black, and than so red:
And alle ys done in howres three,
Thys may be cleped Gods Prevetie:
Than the Erth shall torne red as blood,
Citrine Gold, naturall cleere and good,
And than the red Oyle to hem schall goe,
Red Ferment, and red Mercury alsoe,
And grow togeder weekes seaven,
Blessed be Almyghty God of Heven:
One Ounce of thys Medycine worthy
Cast upon two hundred ownces of Mercury:
Schall make Gold most royall,
And ever enduring to holde tryall;
Fyre and Hammer Tuch and Test,
And all essayes most and least.
And yt ys Medycen above common Gold,
To mans body as God yt would.
For Gold that cometh from Oare,
Is nourished with fowle Sulphur:
And Engendered upon Mercury he ys,
And nouryshed by Erth and Sulphur I wys,
And our Gold ys made of the pewer soules,
In the wych ys now Corrupcyon foule:
But purged pewre as clene as Chrystall,
Body and Spyryt and Sowle wyth all;
And so they grow into a stone,
In the wych Corrupcyon there ys none;
And than cast hym upon Mercury,
And he schalbe Gold most worthy,
Now have you heard the makyng of our Stone,
The begynyng and endyng ys all one.

ok so

2008-05-06T23:41:00.000-07:00

i been busy as fuck and i needed a break and my roommate had to go to walmart for somethin so i went with him even though i went yesterday. i actually needed some rice because my buddy joe cho gave me a bunch of spicy sauce from his parents teriyaki restaurant (which is moving) and i been puttin it on chicken but it'd be better w/ some rice

anyway that was all i was plannin on gettin but i ended up getting a thing of v8 splash cuz im kinda low on drinks and then when we were walkin through the cereal aisle i saw that the box of apple jacks comes with an ADVENTURE SPOON so i got the cereal for that. then i got another bottle of body wash even though i have two ones i need to finish (i am kind of addicted to buying body wash)

even though it was like 12 dollars total it was probably my most frivolous trip at walmart ever but i'm not gonna be too hard on myself for splurging on cereal and soap

aight peace

so something pretty bizarre happened and im gonna write a bunch of words about it

2008-04-27T09:52:00.000-07:00

The internet is amazing because it allows near-instant communication around the globe and access to just about anything you would want to find ever and a whole lot you wouldn't ever want to find. Having said that, me and all of my friends were incredibly interested in the value of the internet when we were about nine years old for a different reason - because it allowed you to be virtually (heh) anonymous. This opens up a world of opportunity for a kid that age, who is beginning to develop intellectually but really still isn't taken seriously by the people around him yet. Everyone seemed to think that we were trying to sneak peeks at the abundance of porn on the internet, but as a nine year old that sort of thing was nothing short of terrifying for us.

The real first internet generation is in their thirties now, and they were busy playing with dot com booms and the business end of it back then [and sending money to Somalia's rightful prince -Kelley]. My group was confined almost exclusively to America On-Line chatrooms. As a little kid, theres nothing more empowering than having a "room" full of people believing that you're some gorgeous 16-year old (which was a pretty standard age for us to claim for whatever reason) and fighting over you. Between me and my small group of friends, we created a slew of different accounts and different personas for each - we would find strangers and have them meet 20 or so people, all of which turned out to be the same five little giggling assholes. Frustrated, they would turn to another one of their e-buds to complain, only to have them respond with the words "poopy booger butt" about a thousand times or so.

We were older than we were (sometimes much older than we were), we were millionaires, we were criminals, we were girls, we were foreigners. If anybody called us out on anything, we were on the internet and could look up a bullshit answer in seconds. No, it didn't always work, and more often than not the beautiful 15-year-old girl would turn out to be another nine-year old girl, and the conversation would end there because the fun wasn't there for either party anymore.

Since then, my age group has done a complete turnaround and now most people seem to be spending their time actually trying to create a singular e-identity for themselves. Myspace, Facebook, Youtube are all ways that they do this. Hell, this blogspot isn't a bad example either.

A couple months ago, a good friend of mine started talking to a girl from the internet. They were both flirty - and, more importantly - bored. He showed me some pictures, he thought she was cute and even though he realized that these sort of things rarely work out he didn't mind the attention. Somewhere along the line, they ended up calling one another and were talking on the phone for some time. I remember at one point she had racked up so many minutes on her phone plan that she couldn't use it at all for a while.

Anyway, I don't know the entire story, but my buddy ended up developing some serious feelings for this girl. She seemed to be on the same page, but one day she told him that she didn't wanna talk to him anymore. He asked why and she gave a vague answer about how the distance was too much.

He wasn't satisfied, and started passively snooping around google. On some level, he knew he wasn't getting the entire story, and wanted to know what had happened.

My buddy is a tenacious guy. We're both pretty stubborn (or willful, if you're feeling generous), but he is one of those people that must know all there is to know about something once they become invested in it. These sorts of people get branded as either obsessive or passionate, depending on how successful they are.

Luckily for my friend, he found his answer. He found her "real" myspace, and all the pictures she'd shown him were totally fake. The "real" girl wasn't horribly deformed, wasn't a guy, wasn't a serial murderer or anything like that, but she wasn't who she said she was. He was absolutely livid for a while before he really processed it and could look back on the whole situation.

Unexpectedly, she sent me a message when she found out he'd figured her out. Here it is!

--------------------------------------------------

Hey, I just wanted to apologize to you. I know that we didn't talk or anything, but you didn't deserve to be deceived any more than he did.

K*****

--------------------------------------------------

I was impressed, and it seemed to me like she was genuinely sorry. I wrote her a surprisingly long response (largely because I had already decided I wanted to write something about the incident and I was trying to form my thoughts into something coherent), but the jist of my message was that she didn't need to be sorry to me, but she should be sorry if she was trying to mess with one of my best buds. I asked if she was doing alright, and told her that people make mistakes, but what she did was pretty messed up and I hoped it was an accident. She sent me another message back, and here that one is! It's long, so I'm editing out parts (I'll put in ellipsis), but all the words are hers.

--------------------------------------------------

Hi.

You're mostly right about what happened, I honestly didn't mean for things to get as serious as they did. It wasn't a "joke", I wasn't just trying to fuck with someone.

I do this because I'm lonely and unhappy, and bored (which is no excuse, I'm just explaining) but I wasn't just playing with him. I tried to stop it... I knew that I had really screwed up, and I wanted to stop it before it got worse.

I'm alright, yeah, thanks. I just need to find something better to do with my time. You asking if I'm alright-- I don't know how much I should get into with it, but. I'm just like, stuck in this little town with the same people I've been around since we were sticking glue sticks up our noses, and I just, can't wait to move and meet new people. I dislike a ton of things about myself and I just do this to pass the time and feel... liked. Even if it isn't honest, I still get that feeling that I think I need.

K*****

--------------------------------------------------

I didn't respond to this one and don't plan on doing so. She's got some issues - we all do - but she seems to be going about it in all the wrong ways. I don't wanna get involved. My buddy is still pissed and I don't blame him.

My friends and I messed with people for the sake of messing with them. While it wasn't cruel, it was mischevious and we were intentionally being dishonest. But somehow, this seems worse even though she wasn't trying to hurt anyone. The whole situation brings up interesting questions though - what if it had been some guy? We'd have probably been more mad about it, but is there really any difference? Would we have been more understanding if she was disfigured or something? And, most importantly, is it possible to have feelings for a person that doesn't exist?

eugh im sick and my gums are lookin kinda discolored

2008-04-23T20:57:00.000-07:00

im pretty sick and tryin to write an essay and this nyquil really is pretty strong cuz i just looked up at the screen and saw this

2008-04-21T23:37:00.000-07:00

In order to do this, one must first examine Iago’s manipulative tactics. These continue throughout the play, but a notable rrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrtrrrrrrfttttttttgfgg

lmao i just found this

2008-04-16T00:09:00.000-07:00

I hate you all. My name is Bill, Bill B********. I wish all of you would leave Your Mom, I made it therefore I can kick you all out. You are all gay but not nearly as gay as I am. I seriously think that I might be the gayest homosexual queer in the history of mankind. I thought you might all want to know that. Oh well, now it's time for me to go off and play pokemon, masterbate, and then fall asleep. Go to hell.

runnin around robbin banks all whacked on the scooby snacks

2008-04-07T23:02:00.000-07:00

preston: whats that song
preston: spinning around while the blacks all whack and the super slack
preston: soemthig like that

im pretty proud of knowing what he was talking about

look what i found

2008-04-04T23:57:00.001-07:00

my car RULES

look at this lil bitch

2008-04-03T09:01:00.000-07:00

tropewhat: Bitch Boy
booyad: wut
tropewhat: u a Bitch
booyad: u fuckin dead
tropewhat: wut u gonna do
booyad: break in your teeth
tropewhat: do somethin
tropewhat: u a BItch
booyad: u best not run into me
tropewhat: y not cuz ull Bitch Out on me
booyad: u best stop runnin yo shit
tropewhat: lets take it to the court then
tropewhat: 1v1 sky lounge
booyad: u backed out yesterday
tropewhat: or are u too much of a Bitch
booyad: dont further it bitch
tropewhat: if u scared of 1v1in me just say ure too scared to 1v1 me
booyad: u kno im at work
booyad: u wont challenge me unless u kno
tropewhat: lmao
booyad: punk bitch
booyad is idle at 11:48:18 AM.
booyad is no longer idle at 11:48:21 AM.
booyad: na

Auto response from tropewhat: i whipped off my pants like i was in the nba

booyad: cuz u wouldnt ever need to rip em off
booyad: cuz ud be a bench ridin bitch
booyad: just like in fsb
booyad signed off at 12:13:21 PM.
booyad signed on at 12:29:31 PM.
booyad: well well well

Auto response from tropewhat: i whipped off my pants like i was in the nba

booyad: i get home from work and u punked out like a bitch

everybody wanna be the boss and we all cant be the pretty girl at the ball

2008-03-12T13:32:00.000-07:00

so this is for the strippers and the fans of the clippers

ok so the new neighbors

2008-03-08T12:07:00.000-08:00

theyre cool and we havent had any issues or anything except they got this motorcycle that they keep under a cover and they park it sideways in the best spot in the lot and use it to save the spot so they can park there with their car

it wasnt a big deal until one day they actually took it out so i parked in that spot and then they like waited around for me to leave and as soon as i left they rolled it over to save the spot again and then parked so since theyre such carebears about it we're doing all that we can to try to get and keep that spot (when one of us has to go somewhere the other guy parks there as he leaves etc)

also i am still playin a ton of basketball but i am still eating a ton of shit food so my skills are getting better but my physique is getting worse

aight thats basically it so heres an abridged history of american-centric warfare from wwii to present day told through the foods of the countries in conflict

ok so basically

2008-03-05T09:03:00.000-08:00

grizz and i were supposed to meet neff at the rec to play bball but he had to go do some gay shit so we went like an hour early and just started shooting around but then this little asian guy wanted to play 21 with us and he totally kicked our asses a couple times so we were getting kind of tired but we stayed cuz we were expecting neff to show up. then later joach randomly showed up and we ended up playing with him for a while which was also hard and then when he left we saw lanning running up on the track above so he came down and played with us too

so basically we played basketball for three hours and i've been walking around like a duck for the past few days because my legs are so sore/destroyed it's really embarassing

also i got this legendary burrito last night at chipotle they needed two pieces of foil to wrap it up and they gave me a little X on the foil above where the tortilla started to rip and i could only eat half of it im considering nuking the rest now but to be honest im still kinda full

aight peace

remember that 2girls1cup review i wrote

2008-02-12T08:11:00.000-08:00

basically its been popping up everywhere and it's cool that people like it and everything but in the future if you read something here and think it's funny i'd think it really swell of you to include a link pointing back to my blog if you go post it somewhere so if people like what you send them they can come back here and read more =]

anyway, the original is here.

also the version that got really popular for some reason was one that another guy made where he printed out my review and pretended like it was an assignment for some film class. he wrote out little teacher's comments and everything! to clear the record: no, this wasn't written for a class and i don't write like that at all when i actually do a "real" critique. i'm also not a film major and know very little about film critique. feel free to email me if you want to talk literature though =]

i'd also like to give credit to "1ucksh0t" for requesting that i write the critique, "hapy" for making the fake essay version, and the rest of the fellas down at http://www.crapyclawn.net/. they are a strange group. also the SA forums (fyad in particular) where i posted this a couple months ago. every joke i've made here has no doubt been made there already but with better delivery.

anyway it keeps turning up on sites like this and its fun for me to read the comments http://www.boingboing.net/2007/11/28/film-review-2-girls.html

heres some notable ones ive found:

"As someone who endured some absurdly pompous film classes taught by even more pretentious instructors, I'd like to buy this film student a beer. This beats the heck out of the time I attempted to reason with a film professor why the world needs Caddyshacks..." -HYPEFUL

"I'm calling shenanigans. I've taught film classes and I've taught feminist theory and I've never had a student capable of making up bullshit like this on a paper. Seems really really fake to me." -JCCALHOUN

"it's supposedly written by this person also -
http://gurnt.blogspot.com/2007/10/humble-critique.html
?!?" -JOHNALD CHAFFINCH (oh Johnald Chaffinch, light of my life, fire of my loins. My sin, my soul. Bless you for vindicating me.)

"It got a shit grade because it was a joke essay. Yes, yes it was.

It wasn't a serious analysis. It was a parody of serious analysis." -SQUASHY (Woo Squashy! He got the joke.)

"@ Squashy.

Really? Well, it was still good, parody or not. Thank you for reminding me that the internet is still the internet. Therefor we should watch what we over think." -CSZOSTECK

"I am a university lecturer and I would have given it a (low) grade. It demonstrates an understanding of the academic genre and is no more full of shit (heh) than any other film or lit crit essay. It is clear the writer has been paying attention in class. By turning in such a piss-taking essay, he is both demonstrating his knowledge and communicating his opinion of the class. It's stretching the assignment a bit, to be sure, but unless there was something in the assignment that said pornography was off-limits, or that the film had to be of a certain length, or had to come off of a certain list, it looks like he conformed to the spirit of the assignment, and possibly the letter." -KYLE ARMBRUSTER

"Ths s th scnd rfrnc t ths sht n bngbng wthn fw dys....qlty cntrl sms t b gvng wy t shr ttntn skng.

f wntd rmndr f wht knd f sck ppl r t thr 'd g t 4chn r sm thr shthl lk tht, thnks!" -MUPPET

"Even (actually: especially) if you take the video as a serious piece of art and the above review as a serious critique thereof, the 0% grade is wholly deserved. The teacher was not necessarily being a jerk." -NEX

"Kyle Armbruster, I liked your comment. The kid didn't deserve a 0%. What he did was definitely inappropriate, but what the teacher failed to realize was that the student showed some considerable creative promise. With proper guidance, that kid could turn into a fairly decent writer." -BSUWG (THANKS BSUWG ILL KEEP PRATICE)

"SomethingAwful has been doing occasional reviews like this for a few years now.

Here's the whole "The Horrors of Pornography" collection (link relatively SFW, but most articles are probably NSFW)." -DARSAL (yeah, i've read most of these and so somethingawful deserves credit too because it was their concept before it was mine. also, i posted the critique on the SA forums not long after i wrote it)

"The student didn't "show some considerable creative promise", he stole his review from a blog. For that, not for his choice of movie, he deserves a zero." -FLIPA

"are you kidding me." -CORVAIL

"This is the best review I've ever read! Who's the author?" -GREYDADEL

"I'm still uncertain. Is it a joke or is it for real? The video is definitely one of the worst things I've seen like EVER, but still, it could be art... I never get art. But then, I never get fecal porn too..." -INIKOPOL

"how did you come upon this spectacular piece of film review?" -EECUE

"It looks like there is a second page to this.. I would LOVE to read it." -HARMON PRODUCTIONS

"I want the second page" -HOFFTV

"Whoever turned this in is a plagiarizer. gurnt.blogspot.com/2007/10/humble-critique.html" -704RACE (i know these comments arent as fun as the other ones but i hope the people who posted these know how special i think they are)

"That teacher is a wanker. He should have offered a better critique than "Not appropriate." -SHANUSMAGNUS

"I need to applaud you for explaining the video in more details. Whether you are actually just joking or not, this is a great attempt. While most 'reaction videos' on Youtube are more or less people getting grossed out, it shows that most people think that this is "obviously" gross.

But in fact, how "obvious" is it really?

Cows eat their fecal matter all day long, and so are many many other animals on Earth. My roommate's dog pee and poop everywhere. Instinctively, fecal matter is a powerful marker of territory due to its smell, thus a sense of belonging.

As gross as it is perceived by us modern men, the toilet isn't invented until a century ago.

Who knows if being able to explain all these would be a great step for humankind." -037

""Page 2" is available at the link 704 Race gave: gurnt.blogspot.com/2007/10/humble-critique.html
The paper really is a word for word print out of that blog post." -Chef Boyardee (=])

"Notes on the back read (as best I can tell):

Wow
You seem
to have a
creative ____
but writing
about pornography
is not suitable
__ my class

www.amus3d.com/~def/backnotes.gif" -NOTNERB56 (this is one of my favorites because that image is like some crazy internet detective thing to read a fake professors fake comments on a fake assignment which was a copy paste of a fake criticism written on my shitty blog that nobody reads) (this makes me feel important)

"I don't know whether to be more upset with a teacher who cannot recognize good writing (whether satirical or not), or a student who has cut-and-paste someone else's work.

In other words, I am disgusted, but not by the assignment itself. As a professor in the field, I hope I would have either given the analysis a decent grade, or recognized that the particular student was unlikely the author." -ALEX HALAVAIS (what are all you film professors doing posting on the internet shouldnt you be grading papers or something)

"Actually the blog post is dated a week after this paper." -GSSQ

"Classic! I'd have given some credit for creativity. . .like maybe 10 or 15 %" -SPERMODA

"it's great that the art professor reviewing this doesn't recognize the symbolism of the cup/chalice" -SLOSH42

"I can't believe someone would actually do an academic paper on an Internet meme. It's simultaneously the worse and best academic paper I've ever read." -CAPTAIN OF THE GREEN AND WHITE

"How do you know it's plagarism? I think the person who turned it in IS the blogger in question." -A.H.M.

"FAKE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (first time doing that)
* "Appropriate" is obviously spelled wrong.
* What collage professor writes "huh?" on the paper?" -JAY PEREZ

aaand i'm spent. also i think i got pink eye so all you crazy kids should be careful in regards to who you do butterfly kisses with and remember there's nothing wrong with asking your partner to get tested before you engage in butterfly kissing

basically i went on a date with my roommate

2008-01-30T20:24:00.000-08:00

ok so neff had a bunch of these gift certificates for johnny carinos and he was trying to find a girl to go with him but he failed miserably i guess and they were about to expire so i ended up going with him

basically he talked about the girls in his life and why they werent there instead of me while i downed italian sodas and ate shrimp for an hour or so then we discussed which of the waitresses was the hottest (we were probably trying to counteract how gay we looked) and left.

earlier i got pulled over and sung this the entire way home

so basically i guess i wanted some mushrooms

2008-01-27T23:02:00.000-08:00

cuz today the majority of my dinner was an entire thing of mushrooms i bought that i just fried up in some olive oil and ate basically i am gross but im drinking it with some ballin v8 fusion which should give me all the nutrients the mushrooms are not giving me

apparantly these men have something in common

2008-01-16T17:00:00.000-08:00

fuck

2008-01-15T00:14:00.000-08:00

i got shin splints because i run like a duck

seems to have no effect doctor

2008-01-13T11:05:00.000-08:00

yo, the name is batty
the logic is erratic
potato in a jacket
toys in the attic
i walk and i ramble
my brain is scrambled
rap like an animal
but ima mammal ;]

i been brain fried electrified
infected and injectified
vivosectified
and fed pesticides
my face is all cut up
cuz my radars all shut up
NURSE
i needa checkup from the neck up

they used and abused me
battered and bruised me
red wires green wires
stuck em right throouhg meeeee

also play this game

2008-01-10T14:54:00.000-08:00

http://www.nekogames.jp/mt/2008/01/cursor10.html

woop woop

aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

2008-01-09T14:37:00.000-08:00

grnt: hey vurnt
grnt: vurnt
hi im vurnt: Wat
grnt: your gay lol
hi im vurnt: no
hi im vurnt: you are tho lol
grnt: no im not
grnt: thats you prolly lmao
hi im vurnt: haha yeah no its you
grnt: no way
hi im vurnt: yep
grnt: i bet your gay though rofl
hi im vurnt: just checked you're the one who is
hi im vurnt: ahahaha
hi im vurnt: way to be gay
grnt: oh except in reality
grnt: you are gay not me
hi im vurnt: no
hi im vurnt: maybe you're wrong? yes. you are. i'm not gay
hi im vurnt: but i know you are ahahaha
grnt: oh yeah that'd be true except for the fact that your the gay one
hi im vurnt: nope
hi im vurnt: too bad you're gay
grnt: oh right... only your actually gay and im not
grnt: so theres that
hi im vurnt: no
hi im vurnt: no man
hi im vurnt: you're gay
hi im vurnt: if you're gay i'll sign off right now
hi im vurnt signed off at 3:37:16 PM.
grnt: up yours vurnt
Previous message was not received by hi im vrunt because of error: User hi im vurnt is not available.

catch me @ ur local party

2008-01-09T10:42:00.000-08:00

1133 (3:20:57 AM): lets cyber
B (3:21:15 AM): im takig of my hair
1133 (3:21:49 AM): i am playgn w/ it gently
B (3:22:08 AM): m y hair is compeltlty taken off. my hairs off
B (3:22:18 AM): now im moving my eyes
1133 (3:22:45 AM): omfg
1133 (3:22:51 AM): iwnat to likc ur eyeball
B (3:23:29 AM): when you likc my eyeballll i start screaming abouhow your so ironic a nd it really turning me on
1133 (3:23:58 AM): i am not ironic
1133 (3:24:13 AM): taht is worse than calling me someone else's name
1133 (3:24:14 AM): wtf
B (3:24:30 AM): ok now were in a argment and i m teling you to camlm the fuck down
B (3:24:39 AM): my hairs back on
B (3:24:53 AM): its still kinda erotic tho
1133 (3:25:00 AM): i am walking 2 the table outside
1133 (3:25:08 AM): and pouring msyelf a glass of fine brandy
B (3:25:40 AM): i greappled a chair into submission and cloned a copy for you to sit nex t to me
1133 (3:26:32 AM): i shuffle over in my terrycloth robe and have a seat
1133 (3:26:36 AM): and sigh heavily
1133 (3:26:45 AM): and swirl the brandy
1133 (3:26:50 AM): gently in the snifter
B (3:27:54 AM): i knock the brandy out of you hands as a act of defiance, i dont wnat you to hav ethe upper hand here and im gonign to exert my presence your gonna kno that i have thefinal word
B (3:29:34 AM): i summon several pain brushes of various sizes and beign painging mystical runes a;ll over your body, with my own blood
B (3:29:38 AM): you are branded
1133 (3:30:25 AM): i shake my head and sigh
1133 (3:30:32 AM): and poiur myself another glass
1133 (3:30:40 AM): and slowly sweep up teh broken framgents
1133 (3:30:47 AM): my great uncle gave me these snifters

i am basically the epitome of a libertine

2008-01-08T14:01:00.000-08:00

- As long as you're not part of the problem, you're OK; there's no moral imperative to take care of anyone else. People do not have a responsibility to others.
- So-called "consensual crimes" are not wrong and should not be treated as such. People have the freedom to deviate from the majority or to make potentially poor decisions.

duty in and of itself is not a valid basis for morality you stupid

i have basically just barely survived the last week

2007-12-16T10:26:00.000-08:00

"There are winter mornings when the cold without only adds to the warmth within, and the more it snows and the harder it blows, brighter the fires blaze." -Emily Dickinson

happy holidays, fags.

u catch me at your local party yes i crank it everyday

2007-12-08T10:34:00.000-08:00

bb:
brendan: us a looser
bb: u just hatin cuz i stack paper to the ceilin and ride on 20 inch chrome
brendan: haha, yeah
brendan: tempo my ass
bb: lolll

i get to go talk to people about this tomorrow

2007-12-06T16:50:00.000-08:00

Hey Bill,

I was thinking that I could do the summary of the prologue and tale. I have
already started summarizing. Then you can pull out some interesting parts and
talk about those. What do you think?

Brittany

-------------------------------------------------

Yeah, that's fine. I would still appreciate a little bit of input on the thematic end so I can get a better perspective on things, so try to highlight a couple things you think are relevant and get back to me if you have the time. I'll also run a couple of the things I find by you.

Bill

-------------------------------------------------

bb: that was my response
gt: Yeah, actually, do what you told me to do and get back to me on it.
gt: Bill

lookin like ms. bo peep

2007-11-29T14:28:00.000-08:00

lol

2007-11-27T16:12:00.000-08:00

Bill: im writing basically
Bill: the hardest essay ive ever had to write
Bill: While Chaucer is clearly concerned with the stability of language, he is able to manipulate the looser vernacular in order to create more meaning than would be otherwise possible.
Bill: hats my thesis
Bill: ...in this way, language shapes reality - and the language of the various characters reflects their respective realities: the culmination of their psyche and all that it encompasses, and their varying socially-oriented ideological perspectives.
g: *loosens cravat and sweats over a quil pen*
g: you just made what i had to do look a whole lot easier thanks
g: man i think ive only used a hyphen and a colon like once respectively
g: so there - and thereforthwith: i conclude; stfuery.

this is my christmas wishlist

2007-11-27T09:22:00.001-08:00

not the pug one though

round 2

2007-11-16T12:14:00.000-08:00

gurnt: img onna ween the fantasy baskebtaall.
bees: i doubt this heavily
gurnt: i am delivering the biggest beatdown right now
gurnt: u are almost losing
bees: umm wait wtf
gurnt: yea u see that
bees: wait what league
gurnt: n00b wdf
gurnt: oh this is bill
gurnt: lol
bees: loll
bees: then ok im certain im gonna own your team
gurnt: wdf are u seeing whats happenin right now
gurnt: im owning right now
gurnt: u on the other hand
gurnt: def. not
gurnt: winning ya but OWNING no way
bees: ur playin a joke team
gurnt: and im winnin w/ it
gurnt: o
gurnt: u mean his team
bees: yea
bees: youre team is a joke too though
gurnt: yea but they are still winnign
gurnt: ur team has no sense of humor
bees: yea i know
bees: its just dangerous
gurnt: thats why it will be amazin when the scrotesville stunnaz destroy it
bees: you dont even have nene, nub
gurnt: i was pissed about that
gurnt: but hes injured now so its ok
bees: btw im on cell aim messaging you and my crying ex at the same time
bees: and im scared in the middle of being sincere ill accidentally send her something for you lol
gurnt: lmaoo
bees: please dont cry...your team is garbage

just slangin chatlogfs left and right

2007-11-15T11:04:00.000-08:00

Brendan: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nb3mshCWmgA
Bill: timeline
Bill: this commercial was ufnny amybe a million billion years ago
Bill: thanks a lot
Bill: for wasting my life and ruining everything as always
Bill: ass
Bill: fuck u
Bill: <^> bitch <^>
Bill: ,,|,
Brendan: bill, i see youre still acting like a 12 year old
Bill: wtf ther eis no need ot insult your friends brendan.
Brendan: you've been demoted below chris
Bill: chris is a busta
Brendan: take your spot in line, number 6
Bill: omg
Brendan: omg omg omg
Brendan: omg, i'm billy, i'm a little nooob
Bill: no
Bill: thas you prolly
Brendan: no, thas you
Brendan: noooblet
Bill: no

bb: aight dogg, im gonna go cuddle up with anna karenina and call it a night
bp: ill killdat bitch

Brendan: nooblet
Brendan: you don't even own a condom
Bill: lo
Bill: l
Bill: do u own a condom now brendan
Brendan: lol, nope
Bill: are u gonna go buy one
Brendan: nope
Brendan: i'm free
Bill: .
Brendan: free ballin
Bill: the condom doenst go around your balls brendan.
Brendan: how would you know?

my essence has been captured in a youtube video

2007-11-12T17:17:00.000-08:00

bullshit

2007-11-11T13:21:00.000-08:00

Brendan (2:00:18 PM): getting ready to shower, actually
Brendan (2:00:39 PM): speaking of showering
Brendan (2:00:47 PM): i never have to pull hair out of my drain
Brendan (2:00:50 PM): it knew it was bill
Neffy (2:00:23 PM): I knew it was bill too
Brendan (2:00:56 PM): he's a hairy ass
Neffy (2:00:26 PM): yes
Neffy (2:00:28 PM): have you seen him
Brendan (2:01:08 PM): i have seen him
Brendan (2:01:10 PM): but not his ass
Brendan (2:02:58 PM): ok, shower time

fucken cable guy woke me up and now i cant get back to sleep

2007-11-10T08:55:00.000-08:00

ok so last night grizz and i went down to the rec to just shoot hoops w/ joe cho but then like a small army of asian dudes came out of nowhere and needed some extra guys for a game so we played (but seriously it was weird, the asian basketball crew must come out on friday nights or something because we were the only ones there basically)

anyway they were fast as hell and it was about all i could do to keep up because i was already tired because im so out of shape and THEN they wanted to play another game so i played another one

and basically my feet are all ruined i dont even have a needle to drain the blisters

also my hands arent really big enough to get around a basketball but i try to steal anyway and just end up slapping the ball toward nowhere in particular this has coined me the nickname "paddles" (but only the other white guy there would call me this there was kind of a language barrier to be honest but this one dude kept making funny little noises when he was in precarious situations and that was pretty funny)

also once i actually said "oops" out loud when this guy went up for a fake and i totally bought it and went flying past him for the would-be block so i think if i had one of those street basketball nicknames it would be Oopster Paddles

basically i am horrible but i had a good time despite the fact that my only offensive move is to set a pick and get in the way of good people and my only defensive move is to buy fakes

i am considering heating up some little caesars from last night but jesus christ its early fuck that cable guy

oh also i am in a fantasy league for basketball but my team is basically the denver nuggets + rasheed wallace + tony parker (i put iverson at sg) so i can just watch nuggets games and i will know how i am doing

I had a lovely chat with Carol today

2007-11-08T22:08:00.000-08:00

user guest_ has entered room

analyst Carol.7766 has entered room

Carol.7766>

Hello guest_, Thank you for contacting Comcast Live Chat Support.
My name is Carol.7766.
Please give me one moment to review your information.

Carol.7766>

Thank you for holding. 
I will be happy to assist you today.

Carol.7766>

This will just take me a moment to locate your address
in our database.

Carol.7766>

I apologize but your information did not save to your
order form.

Carol.7766>

Could I please have your name, telephone number and
address?

guest_>

Charles **************

Carol.7766>

Thank you Charles.

guest_>

you're welcome Carol.

Carol.7766>

What services did you wish to order today?

guest_>

we were hoping you could help a little bit with that
actually

guest_>

truth be told we just want the simplest and cheapest
possible thing that gives us the altitude channel
(it's 25 i think). We just want to watch some
basketball, Carol.

Carol.7766>

Thank you Charles.  This will just take a moment to bring
up your address in my database.

guest_>

ok. i just posted it a second ago, so you can check there
too if you want.

Carol.7766>

For security purposes, could you please verify the last 4
digits of the social security number listed on the account?

guest_>

****

Carol.7766>

Thank you Charles.

guest_>

You're welcome Carol.

Carol.7766>

This will just take a moment for me to determine what
cable package would better suit your needs Charles.

guest_>

I appreciate it! Take your time Carol.

Carol.7766>

The lowest package that gives you the Altitude channel
is Expanded basic, for $48.49 per month.  I would
actually recommend Digital Basic, which is only $1.00
per month more and gives you a digital box to allow you
access to On Demand programming and the music channels.

guest_>

We have high-speed internet from you guys as well,
what would the total cost come to with expanded basic
service?

Carol.7766>

Your monthly rate will be $94.44 with Expanded Basic.

guest_>

Sorry for the pause, Carol, I'm consulting with my
peers at the moment.

guest_>

OK Carol, we'll go with the Expanded Basic. We don't
want the digital upgrade, however, because we will be
saving the extra dollar for Totinos Pizzas (which are
only a dollar. Unfortunately there was a recall
recently but hopefully they get it figured out soon.)

Carol.7766>

Thank you Charles.  This will just take a moment.

guest_>

You're welcome Carol.

Carol.7766>

Thank you for your patience, Charles.

guest_>

It's no problem, Carol.

Carol.7766>

The first available appointment I have for your
installation is  Saturday, November 10 betwee 8 a.m.
and 10 a.m.
Would you like this appointment?

guest_>

Yes, Carol, that sounds lovely.

Carol.7766>

Thank you.  There will be a one-time installation fee
of $14.99 and your monthly rate will be increased by
$48.49.  These charges will appear on your next Comcast bill.

Carol.7766>

The technician will call to confirm the appointment 30
minutes prior to his arrival.  If his call is
unanswered he will cancel the appointment.

guest_>

O.K.

Carol.7766>

Is there anything else I could assist you with today?

guest_>

No, Carol, I think that will be just fine. Unless you
had anything else you wanted to say or something,
I've never done this before.

Carol.7766>

No, that should do it Charles.

pombike.jpg

2007-11-06T00:28:00.001-08:00

happy halloween nubs

2007-11-01T00:36:00.000-07:00

Brendan and Bill Chat

2007-10-30T20:08:00.000-07:00

Brendan: well well well, if it isn't gheylord pinky
Bill: hjow did you know my Secret Name
Bill: Gheylord Pinky
Brendan: i like it
Brendan: GP
Bill: Gheylord Pinky
Brendan: its da gheylord pin-kay
Bill: what it do this ya boi gheylord pinky
Brendan: ballin thug
Brendan: i like it
Brendan is away at 9:02:45 PM.

Boystreet

2007-10-28T00:42:00.000-07:00

Boystreet's Back

we are redefining our image for the reunion

here we are working on our Collective Aura

the controversial Rolling Stones cover

this one is for the haters that dont think we play our own instruments

new album and fragrance coming soon

i talked to reymon14 today

2007-10-25T15:22:00.001-07:00

im the one that keeps yelling REYMON

i ask him to give a shoutout to nene (who was freaking out telling me its pronounced nay nay which i obv. dont believe)

and uh i scare him at 4:00 when i yell

also i talk to him near the end about overrated vs. underrated

EDIT: i had no idea he was recording this and planned to put it onto youtube, i was just talking to him

here is what everybody said when i told him to say nene the proper way

nene: tell him 2 say nene
Gckolio: ahah
nene: YOU SAID IT WRONG
Rvorus: NAY NAY
Rvorus: NAY NAY
nene: NAY NAY
Rvorus: NAY NAY
CB: lol
Rvorus: o shit you bitch
nene: NOOOO
Rvorus: lol
CB: lmao
Rvorus: talk about owned
nene: UGH

owned

2007-10-25T12:05:00.000-07:00

Chris (12:35:34 PM): I GOT TO GET TO CLAS
Chris (12:35:38 PM): i have a presentation at 1230
me (12:35:42 PM): lol
me (12:35:43 PM): Hm
Chris (12:35:44 PM): i just came bak to sign up for classes
me (12:35:48 PM): 1230 huh
Chris (12:35:50 PM): yes
Chris (12:35:52 PM): team presentation
Chris (12:35:57 PM): its gey
me (12:35:58 PM): wheres your team at
Chris (12:35:59 PM): and silly
Chris (12:36:02 PM): huh
Chris (12:36:02 PM): idk
me (12:36:06 PM): does the presentation start at 1230
Chris (12:36:06 PM): im meetng them at class
Chris (12:36:08 PM): at 1230
me (12:36:11 PM): i hope you're nearby.
Chris (12:36:14 PM): ya its at the beinning of class
Chris (12:36:18 PM): im right accross the street wtf
Chris (12:36:20 PM): its in rockwell
me (12:36:23 PM): thats good
me (12:36:27 PM): because you have -6 minutes to get there
Chris (12:36:28 PM): y
Chris (12:36:33 PM): wdf
Chris (12:36:42 PM): its 1135
me (12:36:48 PM): 12 35
Chris (12:36:54 PM): 1136
me (12:36:59 PM): 12 36.
me (12:38:03 PM): http://www.google.com/search?q=time&ie=utf-8&oe=utf-8&aq=t&rls=org.mozilla:en-US:official&client=firefox-a
Chris (12:39:00 PM): ?
me (12:39:07 PM): google "time"
me (12:39:55 PM): .
Chris is idle at 12:49:14 PM.

edit: chris just sent me this text message

Fr:Gup
Fuck me in the ass
Oct 25, 1:18 pm

owned again

2007-10-22T13:22:00.000-07:00

gtown: Grunt: Dur blah blah blah. The language Olde English is just as cool as the beer its named after. He me sayeth etc. Im grunt and im gay. i tell it to everyone every day.
gtown signed off at 11:41:08 AM.

justin timberlake owns

2007-10-18T20:23:00.001-07:00

pretty gay

dedede

2007-10-18T11:39:00.000-07:00

me: he, for despyt and for his tirannye, to do the dede bodyes vileinye
gtown: yo, you forsoothe a gay ass book, cumqueen to the dedede, was whom wyf stfuery

a humble critique

2007-10-15T22:12:00.000-07:00

ok so some guy jokingly posted this horrible disgusting video and said that there would be a literary critique from me addressing it and it was all a big joke but then i actually watched the terrible thing and wrote it as a super double-joke that almost made me puke

summary: the video was of a girl pooping in a cup and then her and another girl ate the poop and then vomited into each others mouths

i wrote a lot of words about it

I dont really suggest you read all of them but here they are, if you skip to the end there is a secret video prize (which isn't the video i'm addressing here)

In the masterful modern work 2girls1cup, the feminist genre is reexamined through a series of reversals of expectations. The prevalent ideologies of our culture are filtered through the lens of the pornographic genre - and, in true modern form - the work tends to raise more questions than it answers.

The opening image, that of the stenciled "MFX 1209" suggests a confusing misunderstanding - the 1209 seems as some sort of date, yet the aesthetic of the number lends itself to a futuristic association. This blurring of past and future, mixed with the confusion of the assumed-to-be acronym primes the audience for the confusion to come.

The first image with the two primary characters (who, for the sake of this reading, I will consider to be the "2girls" that are referred to in the title) is seemingly innocuous - the cross-cultural, lesbian interaction defines the equal-rights (both feminine and racial) within the genre of pornography.

The gentle background music lulls the audience to sleep, and the timely but gradual change into the next shot at :11 goes by largely unnoticed by the audience. The eyes are immediately drawn to the "Cup" (also presumed to be that mentioned in the title), the inversion of the phallus and perhaps one of the most overarcing symbols for feminine spirituality and sexuality in antiquity.

The gentle piano concerto will continue as the cup is suddenly and ironically filled with a steaming shot of fecal matter from the anus of our primary character. In this way, the masculinist, derogatory nature of the pornographic genre returns in a surprising, explosive manner. The fecal matter "penetrates" the sacred chalice, which raises a number of interesting questions. Many of these questions pertains to lesbian sexuality - is womanly love possible without the masculine grotesque? Is the pornographic genre doomed to exist within the realm of humiliating acts, even when the only participants are an innocuous 2 girls, and 1 cup? The later image of the two characters attempting to kiss through the feces of the masculine grotesque (as well as the literal feces) will only support this theme.

The excited but hesitant tonguing suggests a sort of apprehension on the part of the lead characters, but by :25, any hope for redemption has been lost. This transition from playful tonguing to full fecal consumption happens as suddenly as the transition to the original defecatory act - why do these central thematic moments happen offstage? There is no dramatic dialogue, neither character gives voice to the greater internal struggles that surely must precede the decision to consume another's feces. This central thematic crux is internalized in both the characters, and thus is obscured from the audience's perception as well.

This notion of blurring will evolve into a diluting and contamination of sorts by :40, where the vomit of disgust begins to obscure even the original thematic feces of the work. It is worth noting that the secondary character does not vomit into the cup (while our original character does), yet vomits directly onto the other woman. This further develops the motif of the masculine invading lesbian relationships - does one woman have a monopoly on the feminine cup, while the other woman becomes masculine, and begins to fill the role of the oppressor as she symbolically vomits down onto the kneeling lover? Even this notion isn't safe from the postmodern genre-confusion, as the roles are reversed and the other's mouth is vomited into in return.

It is hard to read this work in any constructive manner, as evidenced by the final image of the piece. The characters present themselves to the audience, effectively breaking the fourth wall. The difficulties of untangling the thematic mess of the genre to find sentence are reflected in the physical mess on the characters faces. Hopefully, with further examination and daring works such as 2girls1cup, we will be able to break free of many of these domineering and ultimately oppressing ideological structures which are maintained by societal forces, genre restrictions, and our own perceptions of reality.

oook im not gonna post the video here but if you actually read all this congratulations here is your prize